a DeViL with a Human Heart

'The Man in the Storm'

2009-12-12T12:26:00.003+08:00

This is the wonderful story i would love to share with you guys, its pretty short but darn meaningful =] Hope u guys learn at least something from it =p

"A man seeks employment on a farm. He hands his letter of recommendation to his new employer. It reads simply 'He sleeps in a storm.'
"The owner is desperate for help, he had no choice, so he hires the man.
"Several weeks pass, and suddenly, in the middle of the night, a powerful storm rips through the valley.
"Awakened by the swirling rain and howling wind, the owner leaps out of bed. He calls for his new hired hand, but the man is sleeping soundly.
"So he dashes off to the barn. He sees, to his amazement, that the animals are secure with plenty of feed.
"He runs out to the field. He sees the bales of wheat have been bound and are wrapped in tarpaulins.
"He races to the silo. The doors are latched, and the grain is dry.
"And then he understands. 'He sleeps in a storm.'
"My friends, if we tend to the things that are important in life, if we are right with those we love and behave in line with our faith, our lives will not be cursed with the aching throb of unfulfilled business. Our words will always be sincere, our embraces will be tight. We will never wallow in the agony of 'I Could have, I Should have.' We can sleep in a storm.
"And when it's time, our good-byes will be complete."

Life After You

2009-12-12T12:03:00.003+08:00

Guess Its been really long since i last updated my blog =[ I will still like to thank those who still visit and read my blog. Every time i visit my own blog, i saw the counter rises, i know there are still people who are willing to read this ever though the author(yours sincerely) is not so consistent when it comes to writing on his blog.

Anyway im feel like doing a double post today. the first one is a summary bout this year, the second one is about a story call 'The Man in the Storm'.

Here goes the first one....

2009 been a great year! i still remember the very first day i walked in to my new campus, lost and unsure of the future, a total new environment, feeling damn insecure. Then i get to meet new people who share similar passions and had a great time with them, people who are willing to strive forward despite of what they facing.

Sometimes i really envy their courage, they are just so strong! They're like a mouse living in the urban city, disgusted and chased by human, but still living stronger everyday, nothing can kill them. They made me laugh, encourage me to love, and tell me not to give up.

Thanks to uncle Ben, he bought me Chase, the golden retriever somewhere on March. He bite all my wires, my trees in the garden, he even ruined Pete's wallet and chew his 2 50 dollar notes! Such a curious and mischievous and naughty dog. The times when we went for training on Sunday morning, he as usual, wasnt the most obedient dog in the class, he made me look like a clown. Although i was slacking to spent much time to accompany him, he is still the most happy person(dog) to see me when i came back everyday.

Very soon, all of us are going for our internship for 6 months. Going to be another 6 months not seeing everyone. Thanks for all this while and hope you guys enjoy your internship. See u guys in the july intake by the lake side campus!

Guess i'll stop here, im running outta words to write and i dowan to bore you guys with arrows of words, hope all of you have a great time as well... Till then

My new baby

2009-07-25T00:15:00.003+08:00

Booked myself an Iphone 3Gs yesterday, cant wait to collect it on the 2nd next week!

Cheers~

The budding head

2009-07-23T06:23:00.007+08:00

This, I guess is another come back from a very long time of MIA, my blog's been dead several times and revived and being dead again, i guess there is nothing really special and worth mentioning events, anyway, before i proceed i would really like to thank those people that still visit my blog.

If you get the chance to see me, you'll know I've shaved my head and Ive never had a haircut like this or anywhere near this, and i never really tried something this 'adventurous' before too. It was a bet with the boys in class while more like a chain reaction, one after another going 'botaks'

And finally a very old and close friend of mine left for Switzerland today, I'm sure many of you are able to guess who's that already(so smart!). She got back from London more than a month ago, and we again started to talk a little. Can't really explain this calm and tingling feeling after talking 2 her everytime. Time seriously flies, Shes probably in the airport now, leaving to Swiss tonight..

But anyway, Im not going to say anything that make her feel bad, I know her very well. Even if i still have feelings for her, all i can do is like what they say, "you love that person, you let them do what they enjoy." All i hope is that she can enjoy this coming term, i bet she misses her friends in Swiss, be happy a little and dont think too much about everything cause 'Boat reach tier, it will align automatically', in another word which is when life reaches that precise stage, it will fall into pieces automatically without worries. So seriously dear, dont worry so much =)

I just want to see her happy, have fun and smile again, cause the most flattering moments I remembered are when she smiles.

To be honest, I cant seem to really understand why do I still miss her, even though what happen was already 2 years ago but anyway, now is also not the right time to reminisce past events. Every scar has its own memories. Its really hard to say what im feeling now but im sure as time goes by, i will feel better, there is nothing time cant erase. All i can do now is lay my hands on God, and let him lead the way.

Anyway enough bout all this, I'll try and update my blog more frequently. Thanks to my mum and all my friends that wont stop being there when I need them and also Thanks to those who are still reading my blog...

Recently

2009-04-14T23:59:00.003+08:00

Im officially the laziest blogger ever to exist...

My last post was somewhere around December, it was before Christmas.

First thing first, a little update on my current situation. Things are going quite well for me now. I'm finally in term 2 right now. Meet several new people that share the same topics and passions with me. Could go on talking and talking for hours non-stop now =)

The busy but fun uni life I have been long waited has been granted, it aint something i could get back then in Twintech, everyday seems like just another day...

Back then i still remember that many thing seems like impossible,
I also remember the days that dreams are only meant to be in dreams,
I'm happy for being where I am right now...

Oh btw, some of your already know i bought a Golden Retriever!! I always wanted a golden=) I named his Chase, hes around 9 months now, and hes still abit too naughty. Bit all my tissue rolls and even my magazines! I'll upload some pictures of him few post later.

Once again, gotta get some sleep, to people who still read my blog, thank you!

The mood for Christmas

2008-12-22T13:12:00.005+08:00

Hello everyone, once again, im back to the one-month-one-post again...

To a certain extend i really think of closing this blog, cause i usually dont spend time with it anymore, and i dont really feel the mood to blog like I used to. but i just cant let it go like that, it has too much memories that is still worth to linger on to...

Anyways, Christmas is around the corner. Shopping malls were decorated with christmas stuff and trees and christmas songs. Oh god, it just feels so calm and warmth and relax when Christmas is around.

I once thought of celebrating Christmas in a country that has real snow just make the whole Christmas perfect. During the night of Christmas, families stayed at home next to the warm fireplace and feast on a great meal, man its just like in the TVs.

While I will still be in Malaysia for a while, might as well enjoy the rain for Christmas instead of snow first =)

What have u guys been doing lately?

For me, Im finally gonna enroll myself in the hospitality degree this coming january, the happy thing is that i get to do what I've wanted to do, the sad thing is that skol is going to start so soon, it means end of my rotting days at home...

Well not exactly complaining since I've been fighting real hard to get into this course, its a little late, i will be 22 in 09 but I guess by looking at the bright side, I still get to do what i wanted to do, so yay! Anyway, thanks to mum for agreeing to support me in this course...

I just cant believe Im finally here now, Life is like finally starting to fall into pieces slowly...

except for one thing... I promise I'll talk about it the next time i blog..

I would like to wish everyone a wonderful Christmas in advance in case i'm not available till after Christmas.

Later guys...

The Duck with a Human Mind

2008-11-17T22:33:00.007+08:00

As i was reading i came across this very interesting and meaningful passage from the book 'The New Earth by Eckhart Tolle' i must share with you guys, here goes...

I mentioned that after two ducks get into a fight, which never last long, they will spearate and float off in opposite directions. Then each duck will flap its wings vigorously a few times, thus releasing the surplus energy that built up during the fight. After they flap their wings, they float on peacefully, as if nothing has ever happened..

'IF' the duck had a human mind, it would keep the fight alive by thinking, by story-making. This would probably be the duck's story: "I don't believe what he just did. He came to within five inches of me. He thinks he owns this pond? He has no consideration for my private space. I'll never trust him again. Next time he'll try something else just to annoy me. Im sure he's plotting something already. But I'm not going to stand for this. I'll teach him a lesson he won't forget." And on and on the mind spins its tales, still thinking and talking about it days, months, and years later. As far as the body is concerned, the fight is still continuing, and the energy it generates in response to all those thoughts is emotion, which in turn generates more thinking. This becomes the emotional thinking of the ego. You can seee how problematic the duck's life would become if it had a human mind. But this is how most humans live all the time. No situation or event is ever really finished. The mind and the mind-made "me and my story" keep it going.

We are a species that has lost its way. Everything natural, every flower or tree, and every animal have important lessons to teach us if we could only Stop, Look, and Listen. Our duck's lession is this: Flap your wings - Which translates as "let go of the story" and return to peace..

So think about it, why do we always have these obsessive thinking?

Is it even healthy to resent someone?

Is everything still Alright?

2008-10-11T01:38:00.004+08:00

Time really flies...

How is everyone doing lately?

Its 2.00 am in the morning now and Im still awake. Decided not to be killed by boredom in the middle of the night, i finally decided to do a minor update on my blog.

Its been a month since i last updated my blog already

I've mentioned that ive been transferred to a hotel's kitchen to work. Working, to be honest, has seriously numb my life. Giving me such limited time to do other stuff, I've been waking up very early in the morning driving to work and then finish work, Life's a bore really...

I no longer have that 'extra' time to do that something else.

but look at the bright side, i was offered to do the things i love, meeting lots of interesting and experience people in the kitchen, and now plans to further my studies in the culinary art, what else could i hope for right?

Oh yea! I havent posted any photos bout the working environment Im in now, i'll try to upload some pictures in the next post.

Well, I better get some rest now... Tomorrow's a weekend, lets enjoy it =)

Unbreakable

2008-09-03T23:29:00.007+08:00

Hello people!

Its really been a while since i blogged btw... This time im really NOT going to promise that i'll blog more often because i notice im really breaking it all the time =(

Ive been really busy lately working, oh yeah, many people didnt know that Ive been working at Secret Recipe for 8 hours a day for 10 days already. Prooooud of me eh?

At first i applied for the kitchen position, but they already have enough people in the kitchen, so i got an offer as a waiter. Having nothing to do at the moment, and stop myself from being killed by boredom, and also my mum's naggyness, i accepted it without any hesitation.

The Life as a Waiter aint an easy job u know? Bloody attitude customers i met everyday, being scolded for faults that u didnt do and still have to say sorry, it sux really. My manager's motto is 'Customers are always right', bloody yeah rite?!

So next time please treat your waiters/waitresses with more respect please!

The people in Secret Recipe has always been great to me, being so helpful in every way i needed it, eventhou its just merely 8 staff working there, they really gave me a very good first time working experience there, they taught me the importance of 'teamworking' to run a cafe.

The Kitchen, The Barrista, The Floor work together to make the cafe run smoothly... I really enjoyed working there =)

They say 'one thing leads to another' !

and tomorrow is my last day because Im offcially hired by Swiss Garden KL to work in their pastry kitchen.

Wanting to work in a kitchen was always my dream, I felt really so blessed to be given this opportunity. First i have no education in culinary and second i have 'zero working experience' in the kitchen, its a miracle that they accepted my application!

Learning the techniques to make 'hotel standard' pastries. I'll be making cakes and buns in no time.

Life just couldnt get better than this =)

'If that thing dont kill me, it only makes me stronger', says Kanya West in his song 'Stronger'

Out of all these hard times, I've learnt one thing, to become stronger, not just to become stronger, but to become unbreakable, and YES I am 'Unbrekable' now!

Once again, i'll try to blog more often! Try but not promise, gotta get some sleep, ciao!

If I Ain't Got You

2008-08-12T12:55:00.012+08:00

Some people live for the fortune,
Some people live just for the fame,
Some people live for the power, yeah,
Some people live just to play the game,
Some people think that the physical things,
Define what's within,
And I've been there before,
But that life's a bore,
So full of the superficial.

By the time u finish reading the first part, the lyrics should sound familiar already, recently i fell in love with this really wonderful song 'If I Ain't Got You' by Alicia Keys and i can just listen to it for the whole day.

I was once a guy who believes that money rules everything. I was taught that everything including human have a price. By the look for our world now, Yes, Money still rule almost everything.

As for fame and power, I always wanted to be 'more' famous, to know more people so more people could know me.

Life itself was a Game to me, more like a game of chest. We are like front line, the pawns who only strive to move forward. Moving each step forward, and 'trying' to make a better way for someone else behind, only to find ourselves doomed first.

As for physical, most people can only see whats on the outside not on the inside. When i was young i tasted a type of fruit that looks like this:

Its so ugly on the outside, but taste so good on the inside. Why are we always so attracted to something attractive? This world is weird huh?

But Life's getting bored each day, now still holding to my own believes, I finally see a new hope, finally realized, cause i've been there before too,

Trust me...

'Everything really dont mean a thing if we couldn't share it with someone else'

2008-07-28T02:56:00.007+08:00

Have you ever woke up early in the morning and feel that the air was so different today? or

Have you ever felt that ice water actually taste so much sweeter? or

Have you ever felt that this life was sooo made for you? or

Have you ever cant wait to meet this person? or

Have you ever drive in your car and can't stop thinking bout another person? or

Have you ever obsessively talks about another person when you are hanging out with your friends? or

Have you ever cant stop staring at somebody's picture? or

Have you ever felt in Love?

Oh no...
I'm in Love with a girl, again....

Being a Man

2008-07-12T16:54:00.005+08:00

Due to my laziness of blogging for such a long time, i finally decide i should take the 'effort' to post some really sweet, touching article(like this newest one) like i used to do, in one reason, to make the world realize and hoping that some of these words could change someone's heart...

For my comeback, i present this very touching article of mother and son, 'Being a Man'

I am absolutely convinced that male behavior and thought processes begin th instant the X meets the Y chromosome. How else to explain giving birth to a fully formed, bona fide guy?

Our daughter, Annie, emerged into the world feather-soft, sweet smiling and light as a kitten. Her brother, Sam, on the other hand, came out raging and struggling . When I lifted his muscular body for the first time, it felt like i was picking up a bulldog. Even his newborn aroma had a husky quality. And what and enthusiastic appetite! No doubt about it, we had a son.

As Sam grew, so did his instinctive maleness - using Barbies as weapons of aggression, finding delight in all things gross and disgusting, hiding his tears when a beloved pet died. Skinned knees and elbows were barely acknowledged with momentary winces, and my maternal fussing was dismissed with a mildly annoyed, "I'm fine, Mom!" Then he was off again at the speed of tennis shoes. Eventually, i figured out how he wanted to be treated - like a boy.

But i soon discovered more aspects to his emerging masculinity than just toughness and machismo. He was protective of animals, solicitously attentive toward little girls, and quietly perceptive of pain or sadness in people who mattered to him. The first time he grabbed my arm at a crosswalk with an urgent warning about fast-moving cars, I was impressed by his manly assumption of responsibility for a lady's safety. He was in kindergarten at the time.

One hectic fall day when my husband was out of town, i decided to take the kids to our favourite family restaurant. Just as we were about to pull out of the driveway, seven-year-old Sam suddenly unfastened his seat belt and said, "wait a minute, Mom! I have to get something." Annie and i grew impatient with hunger while he searched for his GameBoy, Legos, Pokemon cards or whatever it was he couldnt last the evening without. He finally returned, pocket bulging, and we were on our way.

"So what did you decide to bring?" I asked at a stoplight.

"Well..." He replied with a measured words, " I went back to get my wallet because i want to take you girls out to dinner." His voice had a hopeful inflection, the kind of laying-his-heart-on-the-line sincerity i hadnt heard from a young man since high school.

I was stunned. What prompted this? His offer was sweetly touching, but i knew that such an act of chivalry would wipe out his entire summer's worth of saved allowance. My first instinct was to kindly decline, insisting that he keep his hard-earned money for something he wanted for himself.

But a strong force of guidance stopped me short, and a voice much wiser than my own urged me no to reject his loving offer. He wants to be a man... let him.

I looked back at my son's earnest face and saw that what he truly desired more than toys or candy was to be the provider, just like his dad and to take care of his women. The sudden rush of love i felt for him was so powerful I thought I would burst.

"Oh, Sam..." I stammered. "Thank you! I'd love for you to take us to dinner." He beamed with pleasure, and I found myself floating on a cloud when the light turned green.

From that moment on, the evening was infused with enchantment. I couldnt have wished for a more charming escort than this little man with a missing front tooth. When he leafed through the bills in his wallet (mostly ones) and magnanimously announced, "I want to leave a nice, big tip for the waitress," I could barely contain my pride. The magic remained even when he spilled his water, got in a loud argument with his big sister - and picked up the check, looking horrified. (I discreetly slipped a ten-dollar bill to him under the table, much to his relief.)

No dinner could ever have been appreciated more... but i was concerned by his silence and somber expression on the drive home. Did he regret the generous impulse that bankrupted him? I was strongly tempted to reimburse him for the tab, but thought better of it. Maybe I could find some pay chores at home to get him out of the red, while leaving his dignity intact.

"Mom... " he said solemnly as he slid out of the car. "I'm going to need a really good job when i grow up."

I couldnt help but smiling. In spite of his worries about the daunting responsibilities in his future, he was willing to accept the challenge.

"You know," I replied, "There's more to being a man than just earning money. It takes alot of love, and you already have plenty of that to give!"

I squeezed him with a long enveloping hug, and this time he returned it instead of squirming away.

Jean Harper

'Bloggerstinct'

2008-07-03T18:31:00.005+08:00

No mood to blog lah really...

As u all can see, never update my blog for the past few months.

Well, this is another attempt to bring back my 'bloggerstinct'..

Will be updating very soon...

I promised...

(The whole color of my blog's layout will soon changed back to black)

Reconcile

2008-06-19T03:27:00.005+08:00

Over the past few months, i hadn't really been updating my blog a lot... A lot of people actually asked, why u stop blogging? Why you dont post anything anymore? Do u remember you once own a blog?

Yes, i still have a blog and it is still very important to me! This blog has became an emotional storage to me, i write all my 'feel bad' stuff here to just to reassure myself. To be honest, it works most of the time.

I've discover that i only write my blog when i have emotional problems. It shouldn't be this way, not like this anymore.

I've been asking myself, what else do i need in my life now..

My heart always gave me this answer...

''You have everything''

Better in Time

2008-06-04T18:29:00.005+08:00

I dont have to say much bout this, every single word in the song represents my emotional feelings right now at this moment, I'm so glad Leona Lewis sang this song, it would be that this song was really made for me.. Enjoy =)

It's been the longest winter without you
I didn't know where to turn to
See somehow I can't forget you
After all that we've been through

Going, Coming
Thought I heard a knock, Whose there, Noone
Thinking that, I deserve it
Now I have realized
That I really didn't know

If you didn't notice
You mean everything, quickly I'm learning
To love again, all I know is
I'm be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's going to hurt when it heals too
Oh yeah, It'll All get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too
Oh, It'll all get better in time

I couldnt turned on the TV
Without something that would remind me
Was it all that easy?
To just put us out your feeling

If i'm dreamin
Don't want to let it hurt my feelings
But that's the past, i believe it
And I know that, time will heal it

If you didn't notice
Well you mean everything, quickly i'm learning
Oh turn up again, All I know is
I'm be ok

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oh yeah, It'll all get better in time
Even though I really love you
I'm gonna smile because I deserve too
Oh, It'll all get better in time

Since there's no more you and me
This time I let you go so I can be free
And Live my life how it should be
No matter how hard it is
I will be fine without you
Yes I Will

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too
Oh, It'll all get better in time
Even though I really loved you
I'm gonna smile cos I deserve too yes I do
It'll all get better in time

Thought I couldn't live without you
It's gonna hurt when it heals too yeah
Oh oh, It'll all get better in time
Even though I really loved you
Going to smile cos I deserve too
Oh, It'll all get better....

What hurts the most

2008-05-18T15:05:00.017+08:00

Its really been a while since my last post, my blog is dying of inactivity... Dont really 'feel like it' to write or update anything until recently. Still feeling a bit shattered.

'Life was not treating me very good lately'..

Despite of all that that happen to me, it ended up in such a terrible end, i couldnt have figure out or had no idea that it could turn out this way. I'm glad its over. Old things die and new things will be born, thats what the whole world been saying or this phase should sound very familiar 旧的不去, 新的不来...

Its finally more than a month that we didnt talk to each other, getting on with each of our lives, I'm still missing her and been wondering how is she doing lately. I bet she is busy with her work and socializing with her colleague, they all been treating her really good. No words could describe how badly i wanted to know how is she doing really right now, very simple stuff like how is she feeling right now, has she eaten yet, she had enough sleep for tomorrow's work. Juz simple things like that still bothering me.

I think i'm really stupid, wondered why still care so much when someone doesnt want me to care for them anymore.

I remember during the time after we broke up, i bought so many books to read on so i could 'try to learn' to become a better person, and most importantly a better lover for her. In whatever situation, 'i try think in her shoes', and to be honest, i think i'm being very generous. I've been living for more than 21 years now, never had i had such hard times b4, never experience such pain before...

I'm not sure she realize this or not, she always thinks what she did was right. I was the one who broke it up, but i was also the one who tries to get her back and i wondered she'll recall what kind of attitude she treated me with. I really hope she stop being so childish and blames everything on me.

Our relationship was juz merely six month, it really meant alot to me, i'm so glad that she once, willing to spent her life with me. I'm also grateful that she taught me so much, thanks for teaching me to be a gentleman, thanks for teaching me to 爱就爱的疯狂...

Even I still miss her, i'm so glad it finally ended, i'm so tired.... I'll wish her well in whatever she does, 我也什么都不想管了, if blaming me really made her happier, ignoring me really made her happier, and treating me like this really made her happier, good then, this is the last 'happy' thing i could give her...

What hurts the most is to be hurt by someone you love so much and being blame for everything...

Love hurts....

A word of caution: Dont drink and Drive

2008-03-22T04:18:00.005+08:00

Read a very interesting email from a friend and would like to share it in the blog =)

I went to a party,

And remembered what you said.
You told me not to drink, Mum
So I had a sprite instead.

I felt proud of myself,

The way you said I would,
That I didn't drink and drive,
Though some friends said I should.

I made a healthy choice,

And your advice to me was right,
The party finally ended,
And the kids drove out of sight.

I got into my car,

Sure to get home in one piece,
I never knew what was coming, Mum
Something I expected least.

Now I'm lying on the pavement,

And I hear the policeman say,
The kid that caused this wreck was drunk,
Mum, his voice seems far away.

My own blood's all around me,

As I try hard not to cry.
I can hear the paramedic say,
This girl is going to die.

I'm sure the guy had no idea,

While he was flying high,
Because he chose to drink and drive,
Now I would have to die.

So why do people do it, Mum

Knowing that it ruins lives?
And now the pain is cutting me,
Like a hundred stabbing knives.

Someone should have taught him,
That it's wrong to drink and drive.
Maybe if his parents had,
I'd still be alive.

My breath is getting shorter, Mum

I'm getting really scared.
These are my final moments,
And I'm so unprepared.

I wish that you could hold me Mum,

As I lie here and die.
I wish that I could say, 'I love you, Mum!'
So I love you and good-bye.

Author's note:

Sometimes you not only spoil your own Life, you might spoil someone's perfect Life too...

This article may be a fiction, but fictions exist for a reason, exist for someone who is afraid that someday terrible things like this could happen, maybe it has happened before, maybe it has not, but that someone is really making an effort to tell you dont let things happen like this...

We can always make a difference...

Something I treasure...

2008-03-17T05:02:00.002+08:00

Something i treasure.....

Just a simple question like this gave me those sleepless nights... Keep thinking of how screwed up my Life is at the current state... I've been thinking bout the past alot lately... Mostly bout all the Hows and Whats that happen to me lately..

Last week was really a boooooring week, everyone's ass is like so glued to their computers, and everyone is having WOW(World of Warcraft) fever now. Wanting to find someone to talk to seems like a very difficult task now... But lucky Bra decided to come down and chill for the weekends, Life seems a bit easy from there =)

I really appreciate his effort to listen to me... Most man are lousy listeners, whenever u address an issue, they most probably give an idea on how to fix it and that is not what i'm seeking, just wanted someone to be present and be there to listen, thats all...

I told him bout my issues on my family and my Life... He listens and listens and listens.. and he told me something in the end, ''try harder and just do it, you might never know what surprises God has left for you, since that is something u treasure so much...''

Hmmmm..... I realized i had forgotten a very important quote I Love to use so much in my Life last time, 'People gave us too soon when they failed to realize how close they are to success'

I think I've tried hard, but i guess i have to try harder this time and face fear itself now...

Once again, I've found Hope in my most dreaded moments again...

Life goes on now...

Theres gotta be more to Life!

2008-03-11T03:35:00.005+08:00

Lately I've been feeling abit not myself again.. Looking back at few weeks ago, I alwiz said this, I'm pretty sure i'm okay last few weeks ago. I wonder why do i alwiz have emo spike like a woman..

Since that argument i had with my Mum last few weeks ago, it has left me devastated.. Everything i do i felt so empty, everything was never enough anymore.. Weeks of sleepless nights, kinda got me off track from my life, I'm lost... Supports from books i'm reading wasnt enough to make me feel good...

Until last 2 days ago. The night when I had 3 dreams in 1 night.. It somehow pushes me to a whole new level of consciousness.

1st dream: I had this wonderful dream when I'm with 'Her'. We were going out together like last time, sharing alot common interests, dine in our favorite place. I still remember things were so perfect when we just got together =) Then its time we decided to bring each other to meet our parents, those feelings of how would his/her parents think of me feelings really excites me. It reminds me of how loving and happy we used to be...

2nd dream: I woke up one morning to discover that my dog Fuji was waiting for me to wake up outside my door, i'm not sure how he ended up back here but its JUST LIKE LAST TIME! When he used to stay with me in KL, i remember the days when i bring him out for a drink with my friends. Bring him on a walk in the garden. Fetches him to shower on the grooming centre every weekends.

3rd dream: I had a really bad day... and someone came up to me and tell me, do what you feel like doing because you will see the results soon and always remember that 'Theres gotta be more to Life'

I woke up after the 3rd dream... Even though the 3rd wasnt very special, but it somehow makes me realize that life was indeed to be abundant, do what u feel like doing huh? I think I know who is responsible for making me realize this =)

I deeply express my gratitude towards God who made me realize that...

Some pictures of my vacation in Thailand

2008-02-25T07:20:00.008+08:00

As promised, here are some of the pictures i took when i was on my vacation in Thailand =) Thailand is really very nice place to visit, really enjoyed very much the whole trip..

The famous 'Floating Market'

They sell all kinds of stuff, foods, drinks anything u can name..

Its our turn to explore the market!

No wonder they say bangkok has the worse jam... EVEN the river have traffic jam...

A pot for us guys to pee on

Handmade souvenirs like this are sold everywhere along the river

These are some pictures of many temples in the compound of the Royal Palace

Very weird looking characters like this are found all over Thailand

This is the formal Royal Palace

This is the largest teakwood mansion found in Thailand

Victory Monument

I'm back =)

2008-02-12T23:17:00.001+08:00

Finally came back from Bangkok yesterday! Sawadeeka(Hello in Thai)!

The trip was amazing! Bangkok is amazing! Nice place to shop, drink, see around, hang out, I already planned to go back there very soon=) In Bangkok, they sell all kinds of stuff. In the famous flea market called Chatuchat, they have all the very cheap goods, the price was super cheap too, the cheapest T-shirt i saw was 40-60 Bath(RM4-6). Their people are so much friendlier than those people in Petaling Street..

Went to Patpok too, the famous red light district. They have all those very erotic bars, where naked girls dance on the stage, live Sex shows, demonstration of pussy tricks like ping pong, can opening etc etc... Wasnt worth to evaluate much anyway, if u guys have the chance to witness it, do it, then u'll know what becomes of our world, the corruptions and plague of our own humanity.

Miss my friends so much, I hope everyone have a very nice Chinese New Year.. Hope to hang out and club with them very soon.

Oh yeah! Love is everywhere because.... Valentine's Day is this Thursday! I would love to wish all the couples all the best in your relationship, and congratulations because you've found that special someone, its the most romantic day of the year to show them how much they meant to u. These are the few important things to do for your love ones:

1. Give your love ones a very big and tight hug!
2. Kiss them passionately!
3. Flowers and chocolate is a must..
4. Bring them to dine in a nice warmth, cozy and romantic place. If you dont want to waste money, cooking for her is extremely sexy too=) Some candles will make the dinner sexier..
5. Buy/Make them a very sentimental gift. The price is not important, the heart that counts. This gift will show how much u pay attention to her, so be very clear what to choose!
6. and most importantly tell them how much you Love them and how much they meant to you in your Life..

Gotta sleep now, will update with some pictures i took in Bangkok in the next post. Good nite everyone =)

To Bryan, Jocelyn, Rehui, Calvin, Challen, I'm finally ready, Wish me luck, I hope its not too late too, because The Hot Pursuit finally starts now!

Hello Malaysia!

2008-02-08T11:45:00.000+08:00

I've reached Bangkok yesterday night and will be staying here until next Monday...

Starting to miss Malaysia already...

Will be posting some pictures when i have the time.

One last thing, wish everyone a very happy and a very prosperous Chinese New Year =)

The Seasons of Love

2008-02-05T13:51:00.000+08:00

Many people actually give up on their relationship too soon, my favorite quote; Many people give up too soon when they fail to realize how close they are to success. This very important quote is what still keeping me going forward so hard today.

After rereading some of the topics in a book i got from a friend last time called 'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus' by John Gray. I finally understand that I too failed to understand that Love has its own seasons too, just like our earth's climate.

The Seasons of Love

A relationship is like a garden. If it is to thrive it must be watered regularly. Special care must be given, taking into account the seasons as well as any unpredictable weather. New seeds must be sown and weeds must be pulled. Similarly, to keep the magic of love alive we must understand its seasons and nurture love's special needs.

The Springtime of Love

Falling in love is like springtime. We feel as though we will be happy forever. We cannot imagine not loving our partner. It is a time of innocence. Love seems eternal. It is a magical time when everything seems perfect and works effortlessly. Our partner seems to be the perfect fit. We effortlessly dance together in harmony and rejoice in our good fortune.

The Summer of Love

Throughout the summer of our love we realize our partner is not as perfect as we thought, and we have to work on our relationship. Not only is our partner from another planet(Men and Women are very different), but he or she is also a human who makes mistakes and is flawed in certain ways

Frustration and disappointment arise; weeds need to be uprooted and plants need extra watering under the hot sun. It is no longer easy to give love and get the love we need. We discover that we are not always happy, and we do not always feel loving. It is not our picture of love.

Many couple at this point become disillusioned. They do not want to work on a relationship. The unrealistically expect it to be spring all the time. They blame their partners and give up. They do not realize that love is not always easy; sometimes it requires hard work under a hot sun. In the summer season of love, we need to nurture our partners needs as well as ask for and get the love we need. It doesn't happen automatically.

The Autumn of Love

As a result of tending the garden during the summer, we get to harvest the results of our hard work. Fall has come. It is a golden time - rich and fulfilling. We experience a more mature love that accepts and understands our partner's imperfections as well as our own. It is a time of thanksgiving and sharing. having worked hard during summer we can relax and enjoy the love we have created.

The Winter of Love

Then the weather changes again, and winter comes. During the cold, barren months of winter, all the nature pulls back within itself. it is a time of rest, reflection, and renewal. this is a time in relationships when we experience our own unresolved pain or our shadow self. It is when our lid comes off and our painful feelings emerge. It is a time of solitary growth for love and fulfillment. It is a time of healing. This is the time when men hibernate in their caves and women sink to the bottom of their wells.

After loving and healing ourselves through the dark winter of love, then spring inevitably returns. Once again we are blessed with the feelings of hope, love and an abundance of possibilities. Based on the inned healing and soul searching of our winter journey, we are then able to open our hearts and feel the Springtime of Love again once more.

The Springtime of Love --> The Summer of Love -->The Autumn of Love --> The Winter of Love
(Do you see the Seasons of Love now?)

There is always an exception for everything.. By really try to understand the Seasons of Love, you will soon discover the pattern why sometimes your partner is so grumpy and why sometimes they are so loving. Try to understand why are they not so loving as last time.

Love requires a lot of passion and effort. Fight for what you want, this world is realistic, you dont work hard you dont get wat you want. Always remember, the word hopeless doesnt really exist until u decided its really hopeless, or when u are dead..

I wish you loving couples all the best =)

(Sources in this post are mainly from the book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus by John Gray)

世界唯一的你

2008-02-04T19:10:00.001+08:00

I was looking at youtube, saw this really lovely, romantic and touching video which i really feel like sharing it with everyone, its a short clip about people proposing to their only one, 世界唯一的你..

Its really Loving to see people love so sweetly, i already hear some people saying they dont need anyone/another half/soul mate/girlfriend/mate/partners in their Life. To be honest, I'm sorry for you...

I always think that God gave us such a wonderful world with such wonderful people around us to meet and with such wonderful people to love and share experiences with, and most people is really using those resources they can get their hands on very efficiently, Way to go to those people who find Love in this such miserable world we are living, You have my Blessings!

(If you would listen to the song called What a wonderful world by Louis Armstrong, you'll understand what i'm trying to mean here)

I really wonder why people still always have to ask me why are u still doing all this for Her now? Why do people always ask Why? Is there really an explanation for Love?

When people dont care, they dont really wanna know anything bout that person. Nv really wanna do anything for them anymore. If u ask me honestly, Yes i still Love her, very deep right inside my heart yes, a thousand times u would ask, the answer will never change.. I'm just doing my best and what i think is required for my only one, my 世界唯一的她.

I'm not sure where does all this will lead me to, but I'm not really stupid and i know what i'm doing right now, I tried hard, but i guess I have to try harder..

To me, 她就是我世界唯一的她, and i love her with all my heart...

Back to the Hole

2008-02-03T15:05:00.000+08:00

A man walks into a forest to look for some sort of treasure(he called it). Before entering, his friends told him and also warned him that the thing he was looking for wasnt so precious after all. He didnt listen and cared much what other people think as he only do what his heart tells him to. His friends could only wish him well.

Walking... walking... in the quiet forest, he accidentally tripped and fell into a very deep hole somewhere inside the forest. Oh no! I'm trapped! He is totally in controlled by the hole that consumed him. Everything he do was so powerless, everything he do was so hopeless, everything he do was so limited, he felt stuck but He never give up and try hard climb back up, finally he sees light and now his out of the hole.

He returned to town where all his friends got unhappy bout what happened to him.. One of his friend even said 'dont tell me u gonna trap yourself in that hole again for the second time please'. Obviously he didnt listen to them.

This time he went back into the forest again, maybe to get stuck or to improve the situation, who knows...

That man is me....

Many people may get confused bout this post, but it is related to a experience in my Life now, so i assume only those who know what is going on with my life knows what i'm trying to deliver here.

(Updates: changed the sound of my soul, removed the dogs pictures Fuji & James Bond(will update when i have better ones), removed the facts bout this blog section too)

Stop and Stare!

2008-01-23T20:34:00.000+08:00

I love this song so much now, its call Stop and Stare by One Republic, Listening to it like crazy everyday...

This town is colder now, I think it's sick of us
It's time to make our move, I'm shakin off the rust
I've got my heart set on anywhere but here
I'm staring down myself, counting up the years
Steady hands, just take the wheel...
And every glance is killing me
Time to make one last appeal...
for the life I lead

Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're 'here' not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, can u see what I see

They're tryin to come back, all my senses push
Un-tie the weight bags, I never thought I could...
Steady feet, don't fail me now
Gonna run till you can't walk
But something pulls my focus out
And I'm standing down...

Stop and stare I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be, oh
Stop and stare
You start to wonder why you're here not there
And you'd give anything to get what's fair
But fair ain't what you really need
Oh, you don't need

What u need, what u need...
Stop and stare
I think I'm moving but I go nowhere
Yeah I know that everyone gets scared
But I've become what I can't be
Oh, do u see what I see...

(changed the sound of my soul)

No reason

2008-01-19T19:38:00.001+08:00

For no reason i'm feeling very moody these few days, every tomorrow seems to be very boring to me, I prefer to not go out and stay at home to rot.. Perhaps going to class these few days have make me exhausted, for such a long time never have the habit to wake up early in the morning to go class, really miss the holidays =( I'm felt so powerless and lifeless everyday now.

Before i'm really adapt back to the life now, sigh... here comes Chinese New Year again, the festival of noisy lion dances and firecrakers that cloud the skies, together with those very noisy gamblers. In my own words, I too can call it the 'Festival of Sound Pollution'.

Been playing with my guitar these few days too. Yes, the one that i didnt touch for a damn long time. I have some 灵感 these few days, which encourages me to write music, i wrote some lyrics but cant really get the right music for it =( Hope i'm able to come out with something this time.

One last thing, Thank God for showing me the right track again. I know its up to me now...

Shocking Friday

2008-01-14T17:45:00.000+08:00

Last week was my first week of class...

Was enjoying hanging out with my friends, its a been a long time doing crazy stuff with them, really miss them. Just when i thought everything was okay, so we went to Mardigras for clubbing on Friday last week. Everything was okay =) Almost everyone was there, talking 'cocks' and chilling out, we even met 2 more girls, sweeeet!

Until one of the girl's dad called, its urgent and she really have to go. So i offer myself to give her a ride back. This is when the situation a good guy being treated bad for no reason. I reach her house and her dad was angry at me for no reason, I said to him softly and politely 我只负债送你女儿回家, 什么都没做. I have no intention of talking bad bout her dad. But in the end i got hurt and i drove away. I have no idea of what really happen, i was so innocent looking at him, why was he like that?!

Well, i'm okay already now... Living to every breath i could still inhale, walking every tomorrow's steps slowly, I felt better for not blaming him =)

(changed the sound of my soul)

First week of School

2008-01-10T15:33:00.000+08:00

Well, most people including me has already started class. Have 2 wake up early in the morning get ready for class and then drive on the freaking jams. Man! this is tiring but to be honest, after 2 months of holidays, i realy miss the hustle and bustle of city life =)

Even though i only have 4 subjects in this this sem but i shud be more busy now, bcoz more labs and assignments, i even have a mini practical now. The first week in class wasnt quite special though, still seeing those familiar faces i've been seeing for the past few sems, really nothing special.....

Everyone is back from their hometown now, that 'Daddy' is back too =) we've been hanging out like we used to. Going out having fun, Life is just great at its beginning. Nothing is better than spending all your time doing nothing with those useless 'buthers'.

Tomorow is Friday already, a week has past 'just like that', and its another weekend, Lets go PARTY!

Standing Firm

2008-01-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

Well, the blog was dead for some time already, i guess its time for some update again...

Yesterday was the countdown of a New Year. Everyone was eagerly counting every last hour, every last minute and every last second of 2007, then 'boom' here comes the fireworks to welcoming a New Year 2008.

Australia's 2008 Fireworks, its really breathtaking

To many people, a whole new year means a whole new lots of new resolution again. Arh, i still remember my last year's resolution, i guess only less than half of it actually succeeded. But every year there is alwiz an important lesson to learn.

This year, I've learned to Stand Firm.

Alot has happened in 2007. From family problems to friendship problems to relationship problems. Just when i thought nothing could be worse than this, i was wrong... My own negativity has fully consumed me. Eventhou there were alot of ppl who are trying to help me all the time, indirectly i was too stubborn and ignore them.

Till almost the end of 2007, i finally lost something that I think is very precious to me in my Life. I was pushed to a whole new level of growth. I muz admit it, its really painful.. My eyes were finally open, now i could see more than i can usually see.

Take a proper look in every problem, there is alwiz a way out u know? All we need to do is Stand Firm! Dont move and ask yourself what do you want?

Noone know ourselves better than ourselves, we know what we want. So, why so easily let other people's words or thoughts influence you?

I finally know, when i really want something, i really need to work hard, afterall we are how we work...

You and I know that we cant control what other people wanna do to us, so let them do whatever they want, think whatever they want, talk whatever how they want. The only thing we can do is be a better person ourselves.

I tried hard, but i guess i could try harder =)

(Changed the sound of my soul)

Merry Christmas everyone!

2007-12-24T18:50:00.000+08:00

Today is the best day of the year! Well, its christmas eve already!

For all Christian, celebrate well! Joy to the world to the new born King!

For all Non-Christian, spent the whole night have a very nice dinner with your family, Christmas is all bout peace and reunion =)

For Better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in heath

2007-12-23T10:07:00.000+08:00

Yes! the title reminds you of something right? For those who watched countless dramas and movies, arh yes! u got it, it is the vows of marriage.

Well, for most so called civilized people like us only think the content of these vows only valid when the both of you really get married one day. So, basically civilized people think marriage is all bout walking in the church and signing papers and then have a nice and grand dinner and then make babies? Think about it again, the content actually valid when the both of u start 2 b together on the first day, it even started when u 2 actually planned to be together.

Love your partner when she is better, Love your partner too when they are worse. They are times when your partner do lots of things that make u happy right? But do remember there are days that they may do something ugly too, something very disappointing. This is not the time to give up, this is the time when they needed more attention, make them feel desired, not abandoned.

Like the quote, Many people give up when they fail to realise how close they are to success. Remember, its actually really really hard for 2 people to meet each other in a world with so many other people around, and its even harder for them to actually fell in Love in each other. So now do u still think Love is really a coincidence? Think about it, there is alwiz Hope =) And alwiz understand during the times when u make mistakes, who forgive u? Your parents? Your friends? and I'm very sure you wont juz make 1 mistake in life. Who forgive u more than once? What if they didnt give u another chance? Do u still think u r who u r now? Everyone is not perfect, and we human do make mistakes.

As for richer and for poorer. Most of the couples doesnt have much problem here. To only 'materialistic people'(noone knows yourself better than you), try to think properly, money can secure almost everything, but really really cant secure the love you are having now. Yes they may buy u using money, u felt blessed with all those showers of gifts, but u cant guarantee they may not buy other people next time. In the end, the result can be quite ugly and devastating.

Now see how secure as that guy in handcuff look like, he have all the money he wants now. I dont want to see anyone got all the money and material they desire but later in Life they discover they are in deep trouble. Its really true, Money cant buy Happiness...

Well, in sickness and in heath now, sick can also be apply to your partner's sick attitude after the honeymoon phase. When they are sick, try to tell them and be at your most understanding state, tell them this is not making u happy. I strongly say this, dont endure those feelings please! Be true and honest, try not shout at them or tell them how come last time u treat me different, this can really really hurt the relationship. Anger brings more anger. Of coz its your resposibility to take care of them when they are sick =) Who else would do the job if its not u right?

In the end, Trust builds Love, Love secures the relationship =) Its not that hard to understand each other actually, juz give it a try and u'll see the differences in just a blink of eye time. You dont have to envy other people's relationship, trust me, trust yourself, and trust your partner, you can do it too =)

Wish u 2 could live happily ever after =) Will update the blog soon again! Alwiz appreciate all my readers!

The Light of Tomorrow

2007-12-21T06:32:00.000+08:00

The last few days in KL was bizarre and confusing. I somehow develop a new hobby in the process. Began buying more books to read on, and somehow got really obsessed with it too. Well, all this had happened has surely change me to another person. I began seeing things differently, at a more detail angle was it, looking at all the possibilities available first before assessing it. Well, i could also say all this has somehow Mature me.

I'm finally in my hometown now waiting for Christmas. The small island situated somewhere on East Malaysia. There is nothing much to do here honestly. I used to hate this very little island, claming that this place is small and not fun and no future staying here, until yesterday i step back into this house, all the old memories come back, I used to grow up here. The still warm feeling of this house has melted my Desire away. When they say nothing is more comfortable than your Home, Its true =)

As for tomorrow, I gracefully handed it to God now. Surrendering myself to Him, I no longer wanna contradict with his ideas. I'm so tired and exhausted now after a long fight in the battlefield. This is the time when he ask me to run for cover and take a good spiritual rest. I'm on my recovery phase now.

The Light of Tomorrow

Still clinging on the the very last breath of Hope, i'm alwiz looking forward to a better tomorrow, I believe the light of tomorrow is brighter than yesterday. We certainly have no rights to decide tomorrow, the only power we Human have is Now. You may plan for tomorrow, but life doesnt alwiz go the way we wanted it to be. So why not let God decide what he want for us tomorrow right? What will happen will happen, its all been decided. The future has been decided.

Will update the blog sooner than you would think =) Keep reading! Take care guys

(added Sound of my soul section, the very song that is representing my feelings right now)

The story of a Devil with a human heart

2007-12-18T21:09:00.000+08:00

I was used to be something wild, cold blooded, arrogant, and heartless. Everything bad flow in my mind, i was so filled with negativity. Arh... i do many bad things and didnt realise how wrong was I. Yes like most you all already know, I'm actually the devil himself.

Till one day i was given Love, still a Devil, but i gain the a new ability to develop a 'Human Heart'. What is a Human Heart many may ask. Heart that its own mind, its own life. It is able to Love, Care, Cuddle, and involved itself in a relationship. That is what my true definition of a Human Heart. Starting from that day i became a Devil with a human heart.

I finally realise that wateva i was doing not justified. Still a devil, i tried my best to change, to twist the root of my heart to a new me, a completely transform person. I learn to love better, learn to care better, but i really dunno why i was alwiz not enough. Finally i realise i was able to hide my devilish nature for the moment.

Like they say, Men needed direction in what they should give and should not. This is the hardest thing for a women to understand. What is alwiz in their mind was, if he doesnt do it naturally he didnt mean doing it, or if I ask him to do this then it was Me not His decision to do it. Do understand Men dun think like Women, we are different! To be honest, if u would love to date someone who knows so much bout every little things, I think the perfect candidate is God Himself. Be honest with your men. The greatest sacrifice of Love is to Love someone who is imperfect perfectly.

I believe this is the main reason for the failure of our relationship.

After talking 2 her few days ago, listening to everything she said and take them into consideration. Its obvious she had changed to a completely different person now. I have changed to a complete person too. No matter how hard i explain, she would say i didnt have to tell her what do to, its true that i dont have the right to do so anymore too. 我不想在为你这样的男人在流泪, after hearing this, i know its not worth investing anymore, she could only see the pain she go thru. She said she is tired of crying for me, well to be honest i'm tired of listening to her cries too.. The Love has turn into Hate in such a short period of time.

I was hurt but that allow me to see the true colour of this whole relationship. There is no point of return anymore.

Right now i'm writing a post like this i certainly understand that there are gonna be some people who are not happy bout it. Well, all i could say is i have the freedom to write in everything i want now. I no longer be in controlled. The devil could no longer suppress his feelings. I tried my best with no regrets=)

Once again thx for reading. Will update when i'm in Labuan again! I get to see Fuji very soon =)

(I've link a few other interesting blogs up, do pay them a visit too if u have the time)

Being human is the hardest thing in Life

2007-12-17T16:02:00.000+08:00

If u guys read my first post in my blog which started on July 21, 2007. The first post started as an intention to enable 'her' to know what i'm up to in Malaysia so she would not worry bout me too much. That was the day she left for Switzerland to further her studies. That is what inspire me to start this Blog or could i say my true meaning to start this blog =)

During that time, I would consider this blog was owned by me and her. But i made it very clear now, I own this blog personally starting from today. I no longer write things for other people.

She called a moment ago. We certainly do talked bout 'something'. But in the end we made up our minds that we wont be doing this together anymore. She said she wasnt ready to get back into a relationship. I respect her decision and for being so honest with me. No matter what happen in the future, we wouldnt know. Hope everything will go smooth for her during her stay in Malaysia.

Being human is really the hardest thing in Life itself, trying to be who u r, trying to be the best out of who u r, trying to compete with the changing and busy world everyday, and trying to love someone but u couldnt do in anymore. We are constantly exposed to different degree of emotional and mental challenges. but I guess thats the only way to make Life Blooms!

Yeah! I shud be going back to Labuan for Christmas this wednesday or thurday also! Who wants to pick me up gimme a call okay?! Alrite then, see u guys on Labuan =)

Gotta report to bed now, will update the blog very soon again! Take care and good nite everyone.

(added a section called Resolution of 2008, it means things to do on 2008)

No such thing as hopeless unless you are dead

2007-12-15T16:51:00.000+08:00

The real meaning of hopeless is defined as providing no hope; beyond optimism or hope; desperate; impossible to accomplish.

Hope is not able to measure in a quantity too. U cant say u shouldnt put too much hope, you have a very high hope, its no more hope.

I had a dream this morning.

I was laying on the bed in the hospital. I wasnt sure how i ended up there but i suppose my soul was somehow seperated with my body, i could see myself lying in that cold piece of bed, yet i could walk around. My family members were waiting outside for me to regain my consciousness. There were another family there also, but i couldnt remember them. There i saw my mum waited there, she had tears in her eyes.. Only when i try to talk to her, i knew it couldnt reach her, she cant hear me. What is really happening to me?!

I was in panic, fear of losing everyone, i cant stand it anymore, i started crying too but i cant be heard, the worst feelings of my life. After a while the doctor came, everyone stood up. He says to my Mum(my family), we've tried our best and everything went well, your son really has hope in living. Hope, as soon as i heard that word, I felt a warm aura, I needed to get back into my body.

The doctor then turned to the other family, we've tried out best but he still didnt have any response, you guys should give up Hope already. Everyone burst into tears, crying and weeping and hugging each other. They know they lost a very dear family member. I try to avoid such dramatic scene and went back to the bed where my body lies. To my surprise, i didnt notice there was someone beside me, his soul got seperated too. I asked him what is wrong?

He overheard the doctor's conversation, they are giving up Hope on me, he answered me. He said your really lucky to have survive this, so when u return to earth do love yourself more than anything, nv give up Hope. God doesnt alwiz give us a 2nd chance. I nodded and jump back into my body.

I was awaken, back in my old home, in my own bed, i'm so relieved, everything was a dream! but what that guy told me was right, i'm lucky to have survive this, so when u return to earth do love yourself more than anything, nv give up hope. God doesnt alwiz give us a 2nd chance. I'm felt really sorry for him because everyone gave up hope on him, it was really the saddest thing to hear in Life.

I finally understand now, only the Dead are hopeless. Those who are still in control with their life, those who still alive, you still have hope. Hope will show you the way when you are consumed by darkness, without Hope i would have be dead like him too. There are still more things in life to accomplish.

I had fully understand the meaning of 'Many people failed to realise how close they are to success when they give up'.

Really thank God for everything so far...

God can heal a broken heart when he have all the pieces

2007-12-14T18:12:00.000+08:00

A friend sent me a website, with this picture in it. With a very meaningful article in it. My tears fell after finish reading it. Its really touching. Its based on true story but i summarize it, it was freaking long to post it on my blog.

Its an article written by a couple long long time ago when their heart was broken up to many pieces. Like most people they started as friends and they fell head over heels for each other. Things moved very fast, they were so in loved, they stayed together, they do everything together. They thought they will last forever.

They got together for around 2 months, each were busy with their lifes now, work and social. They spent less time talking to each other, they somehow forgotten how to love each other like they used to. The next thing they know they were argueing all the time, fighting and screaming. The love they once felt is no longer there. The Love they once own together was scattered into many pieces. The broke up in the end.

2 heart broken people walk alone on this earth now. Each of them holding a few pieces of the scattered Love in their hands. They think this is really over, there are no Hope left anymore.

The man showed his scattered pieces to his friends, this is what they say, look at all those pieces, its impossible to patch them back anymore, forget it coz once its broken its forever broken. Even God will have trouble patching it back now.

The woman too showed her scattered pieces to her friends, this is what they say, Oh my, its broken up to too many pieces, even if u can patch it up, it will still have scars, so forget bout it and move on okay? Even God will have trouble patching it back now.

After the guy heard what his friends said, still holding the scattered pieces in his hand, He asked himself and he asked God. ''Lord, i never felt anything like this before in my life, and i truly can say this, I'm still very attached to her, do you think you can patch this broken heart for us again? He got frustrated because God didnt answer him but right deep in his heart, the guy already know that he has made an important decision, he wants to patch things back up.

He called the girl and ask her out. They talk bout something but the feeling wasnt the same like they used to have, its really cold. He also notice that the girl wasnt holding on to the broken pieces already. He was very disappointed but he didnt give up. Occasionally, he would called the girl back and show that he still care for her very much. After sometime, the girl open up back up her box, the box where she kept all those broken pieces. She didnt give up actually, if she really given up she would have thrown all the pieces away.

He sees improvement, take this golden opportunity to convince the girl to give them another chance. It wasnt a respond the guy was looking for, but she nodded. They have hard time getting back together like who they used to be, they wanna be as loving as last time but there are resentments in them now. Its really difficult for them to do this.

But most importantly, they found all the broken pieces back. This is when God do his Magics, he healed the broken heart. It was not perfect, but its no longer broken, there are scars. These scars truly remind them of their own mistakes, what really happen that scattered their Love. The guy understands now, God wants him to look for the missing pieces himself, in order for him to work his magic. He thank God that he never give up in the first place.

They learnt from experience, they got back together, got married and live happily ever after now.

He left this quote, Many people give up when they fail to realise how close they are to success.

10 important quotes i'm believing now

2007-12-13T18:59:00.000+08:00

1. You dont know how to live with her, but u also dont know how to live without her too.

2. Never leave today's problem to tomorrow when tomorrow will have new problems.

3. Focus = Focus on current until successful.

4. Scars remind us of what really happen so we wont repeat the same mistakes.

5. Never give up hope unless there are no hope anymore.

6. Unconditional Love = Love that has no calculations. I do more and she didnt do anything, that doesnt work.

7. Do what u really think you should be doing and be firm to that decision.

8. Think Big! but dont juz think of it, think about how can you reach it.

9. People should strive for improvements not think of the past.

10. To be honest, no one likes to see their love ones cry.

Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus

2007-12-12T19:23:00.000+08:00

Went to lunch and hang out with a close friend 2 days ago, she surprised me with this book in her hand.

She said: Vincent, I dont think u really understand what your girlfriend want actually, can u please read this book? I've read it and i think its really a good book, I hope you'll stop making mistakes like you used to.

Me: I dont think you really understand what really happen too, but i dont feel like talking about it now bcoz the 2 of us are suppose to have a nice lunch today. (but i nodded and took the book and smile back)

As soon as i finish lunch, i went home and immediately start reading it. There is really an interesting story in the book that I would love share it here, it is what the author experience personally when he fails to understand what actually her wife wants and trying to tell him.

This is it:

A week befoure our daughter Lauren was born, my wife Bonnie, and i were completely exhausted. Each night Lauren kept waking us. Bonnie had been torn in the delivery and she was taking painkillers. She could barely walk. After five days of staying home to help, i went back to work. She seemed to be getting better.

While i was away she ran out of pain pills. Instead of calling me at the office, she asked one of my brothers, who was visiting, to purchase more. My brother, however, did not return with the pills. Consequently, she spent the whole day in pain, taking care of a newborn.

I had no idea that her day had been so awful. When i returned home she was very upset. I misintepreted the cause of her distress and thought she was blaming me.

She said, ''I've been in pain all day. I ran out of pills. I've been stranded in bed and nobody cares!''

I said defensively, ''Why didnt you call me?!''

She said, ''I asked your brother, but he forgot! I've been waiting for him to return all day. What am I supposed to do? I can barely walk. I feel so deserted!''

At this point i exploded. my fuse was also very short that day. I was angry that she didnt called me. I was furious that she was blaming me when i didnt even know she was in pain. After exchanging a few harsh words, I headed for the door. I was tired, irritable, and had heard enough. We had both reach our limits.

Then something started to happen that would change my life.

Bonnie said, ''Stop, please dont leave. This is when i need you the most. I'm in pain. I havent slept in days. Please listen to me.''

I stopped for a moment to listen.

She said, ''John Gray, you're a fair-weather friend! As long as i'm sweet, Loving Bonnie you are here for me, but as soon as i'm not, you walk right out that door.

Then she paused, and her eyes filled up with tears. As her tone shifted she said, ''Right now i'm in pain. I have nothing to give, this is when i need you the most. Please, come over here and hold me. You don't have to say anything. I just need to feel your arms around me. Please dont go.''

I walked over and silently held her. She wept in my arms. After a few minutes, she thanked me for not leaving. She told me that she just needed to feel me holding her.

At that moment I started to realize the real meaning of Love, Unconditional Love. I had always thought of myself as a loving person. But she was right. I had been a fair-weather friend. As long as she was happy and nice, I loved back. But if she was unhappy or upset, I would feel blamed and then argue or distance myself.

That day, for the first time, I didnt leave her. I stayed, and it felt great. I succeeded in giving to her when she really needed me. This felt like real love. Caring for another person. Trusting in our love. Being there at her hour of need. I marveled at how easy it was for me to support her when i was shown the way.

How had i missed this? She just needed me to go over and hold her. Another womed would have instinctively known what Bonnie needed. But as a man, I didnt know that touching, holding, and listening were so important to her. By recognizing these differences I began to learn a new way of relating to my wife. I would have never believed we could selove conflict so easily.

After that incident, it inspired the author to reseach and develop this book Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus to help people like us to overcome our relationship problems.

I used to be like the author too, when my gf needed me the most, i felt blamed, i thought i was was one of her problems but when she is happy, I'm alwiz there loving her. In another word, i only love her when she is happy, when she is sad, i distance myself. This is call selfish!

This book had made me realise the mistakes i really made, I'm very sure that all this has change me from the worse to a better person. This four weeks of isolation from 'her', the hope i still have has fuel me back up, I've failed, and i'm climbing back up now. I just hope i was given a 2nd chance in Life, I'll prove to her how much i changed, not with words but with actions. Cant emphasize enough on how sorry I am now.

Thx to that close friend that bought me this book, i'm really touched. To those who are still in a relationship now, if u 2 are really experiencing troubles understanding each other, please go and get a copy of this book before the last light disappear. I wish you all the best =)

Will update the blog very soon again, take care guys!

Hitman the Movie

2007-12-12T11:52:00.000+08:00

I juz watch this movie yesterday night and it was really awesome! For those who havent watch it, plz go! Two thumbs up again!

I'm like a Medic in the Battlefield now

2007-12-09T10:23:00.000+08:00

In the battlefield there stand 3 forces, each plays an important role in defending their country. The medics, the land troops, and the air force.

1. The medics heal the land troops to reduce the fatalities/injuries and they hold the key to the victory in the battlefield.

2. The land troops defend their land with their lives to protect everything including the medics and provide a safe ground for the air force to land. They again hold a key to the victory in the battlefield.

3. The air force has a great advantage high above which they can clear the enemies land troops to greatly reduce their number, this gives such advantage to their team, they too hold a key to the victory in the battlefield.

The 3 forces each holds a key to the victory in the battlefield. Who is the greatest then? Lets see what problem will they face when they take each other for granted.

1. Medics think they are so great, they heal and save lives, but they suck in combat. They can be easily killed by the enemy land troops.

2. The land troops think they are so great, they defend the land, but without the help of the medics and air force, fatalities increase, they will be outnumbered by the enemy very soon.

3. Air force obviously cant land to restock when the ground has taken by enemy forces.

I'm in the same situation actually. Me, She and Love are our forces.

People alwiz ask me why dont u give up? I simply tell them 'I'm like a Medic in the Battlefield now', i'm trying to heal it, if i give up, the war is over. Everything is coexisting and if i dont try i wont know the result. Well, i'm not sure whether she had given up or not because right now she is still very far away, cant see and contact her yet.

If things didnt turn out to be good, then at least i can still tell myself that i've tried my very best till the very end and i have no more regrets, better than running back to hometown and neglect the truth, if i run i sure lose.

I've never given up Hope at all, alwiz hoping for the best =)

The Black Parade

2007-12-08T13:58:00.000+08:00

I've been waiting for this very moment!

My Chemical Romance is finally here and THEY will be performing in KL tomorrow BUT! i'm stucked here without any tickets =(

This is bad, really bad, the tickets are sold out and i wanna go to their concert so badly.

Addicted to Fall Out Boy

2007-12-05T15:11:00.000+08:00

I'm really really addicted to this song "I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me & You)" by the Fall Out Boy. I've been listening to it more than 5 times a day everyday and still havent get bored of it yet. I think this song is about how bad the relationship has become after some time of being together.

Last year's wishes
Are this year's apologies
Every last time i come home
I take my last chance
To burn a bridge or two
I only keep myself in this sick in the head
Cause i know how the words get you
We're the new face of failure
Prettier and younger but not any better off
Bullet proof loneliness
At best, At best

Me and You

Setting in the honeymoon

If I woke up next to you

Collect the bad habits

That you couldn't bare to keep

Out of the woods but I love

A tree I used to lay beneath

Kissed teeth stained red

From a sour bottle baby girl

With eyes the size of baby worlds

We're the new face of failure

Prettier and younger but not any better off

Bullet proof loneliness

At best, at best

Me and You

Setting in the honeymoon

If I woke up next to you

The best way

To make it through

With heart and wrists intact

Is to realise

Two out of three ain't bad

Ain't bad

Me and You

Setting in the honeymoon

If I woke up next to you

I'm okay already =)

2007-12-03T10:11:00.000+08:00

OMG, yesterday wasnt my day, was almost controlled by my emo-self but i'm finally feeling better today, actually i feel great today =)

Oh yeah, i watched Enchanted with a couple of friends in cineleisure yesterday night.

Enchanted

It was great! Happy fairy tale ending, a romantic comedy, juz cant stop laughing when i'm watching it. For those who havent watch it, please go! I think this movie quite good, two thumbs up!

I'll be going to a bible study today too, need to get some advises in life from the pastor.

Will update the blog very soon again =)

(Update on my profile and if u guys didnt notice it, I already removed the picture of Me and Ming Fen, a new Facts bout this blog section has been added too)

I'm back!

2007-12-02T18:30:00.000+08:00

I was actually awaken by a very terrible dream this morning. Since then, i've been feeling weird, worried, and lonely the whole day. I wonder why.. Sigh.. Well, i swear i was feeling better few days ago, but things juz kept flushing in after the dream, I'm back to my emotional-self again for today.. I cant control myself..

I suddenly have the urge to look back at the old photos in my computer, click and open and look at it and tears fell down.. The flashback of the images of how happy we used to be when 'she' was still in Malaysia, I miss them so much. We used to travel around and going places together. We used to be a very happy couple. We used to love each other very very much too. Maybe what they say is right, good things dun last forever..

I remember we do face many obstacles b4 we got together. Many people, many words, and many things actually try to stop us. I'm sure 'she' remembers it too. Those were the old times. But in the end we manage to overcome it, and we got together and make everyone's jaw dropped. That is our beginning, the 5th of May of 2007, we been together for more than half a year already =)

I m still thinking what actually went wrong in between us. We did talk abit these few days, but i can feel the coldness between us already. Now we dun really have much things to talk about anymore, less feel less topic already. Is this really the end of everything? I still have the feeling that 'she' still doesnt wanna talk to me yet, everytime when i started talking to her, something came up, like 'she' needs to prepare now, 'she' needs to sleep now, 'she' needs to go out now. I guess i really hurt 'her' too much last time, staying connected to me hurts her in some way, I hope time heals.

Well, I know I'm not in the right position to say this but I still care for 'her' very much, will still think of her occasionally. But in just 2 more weeks 'she'll be coming back to Malaysia, we'll see each other that time. I really hope for the best for us. Plz study hard right now, coz your finals are coming =)

Please God stay with us again this time. Thanks for everything so far.

Mei Ting, Happy Birthday!

2007-12-01T02:06:00.000+08:00

Talked to Ming Fen few days ago, so surprised that she called, felt quite happy actually even though we didnt talk much =)

In the end, i'm not going to fetch her from the airport on the day she arrived already(17th of Dec), her dad wants to fetch her.. I think she'll miss her family so much, so i decided to step away and let her have some quality family time after 5 months away from home. I think that after so many hours of flight she should be tired too, not really a good time to talk.

We'll see each other when we really got the chance to see each other then =) Take care for now. Will still be calling u on the 15th.

Well, actually today was Mei Ting's birthday.. Didnt get the chance to go out together, this is what she told rehui: I've not available tonight.. Lol, nvm will go out on saturday then =) Enjoy the day yea? Coz you're the star tonight!

Getting stronger in Life, I've grown

2007-11-27T14:17:00.000+08:00

Since the breakup, Me and Ming Fen nv talk to each other for a week already, well i promised her that i wouldnt disturb her till its almost the time for her to come back.. But i heard nothing from her for such a long time, its somehow bothering me. To many people they think its only a week, but to me a week is really difficult to go thru.. Juz wanna let her know that i still care for her very much. Its 19 days till her homecoming, I hope that i'm still able to fetch her that day, I'll be waiting in Malaysia..

I used to dun appreciate it when she calls or sms me, after reading the book For Men Only, I understand that women call bcoz they care and they are worried, I think most men doesnt understand this, I was once a man who dun understand a thing bout a women, I really wish i read the book earlier =( Human is really the stupidest creature, they only know how precious is it until they really lost it, like me, i've lost everything now and need to start all over again. Sigh.. I promised myself that next time i try my best to become a better lover.

I realised that i've been staying at home alot now, bought so many books to read on how to improve myself, try to understand women properly, i even read horoscope(cant imagine a man doing that right?)!

Cooking is my passion, so I started cooking alot after i read the Rich Dad book, cooking gives me the understanding and knowledge of skills, timing and ingredients in food. That book simply ignite my will and make me understand if i want a career in the F&B line, I simply need to start working on it now, I finally starting to understand that i need to get stronger in Life, why is everyone moving except me? I hope i'm not too slow..

Robert definition of Focus in the book:

F = Focus
O = On
C = Current
U = Until
S = Successful

Since the breakup, it thought me alot of new things, makes me realise that my priorities in lfe. I need to become stronger and provide both emotional and financial security to the 1 I loved. Really thx to this breakup, I've grown

I need to go to the gym now, Will update the blog next time when i'm more free.

(added a new chat box into my blog too, feel free to type anything in there alrite?)

Horoscope

2007-11-26T10:54:00.000+08:00

I got stucked the whole day yesterday at home online and chatting. Been thinking alot lately, and i finally came out with a conclusion after the whole day. Since the beginning i already know wat I wanted, already know what shud i do, but i wonder at the same time why are there so many other thoughts that are trying to influence me.. Well, ppl's words can have such a great impact, muz really be confident to myself till the very end, I still believe we live on to watch our own endings, not by listening to others. I've made up my mind.

I usually dun believe in horoscope, but yet i still decided to do some reading on it. I simply muz know what actually happen between us, to me i think a problem shud be solve if not its forever a problem, next time still a problem. Look at the horoscopic view of Aries with Gemini; Gemini with Aries.

Aries with Gemini:
Gemini individual is restless, has numerous ideas and plenty of nervous energy. In a sense, this is fine. However, carried to extremes, you both tend to scatter your forces. The key is to be selective, to choose the best. The Gemini is Mercury and your significator is Mars. Gemini tends to give you a sense of direction, but also to tire you. This is because you find yourself moving, visiting, entertaining, being entertained. You tend to try to be every place at once when tied up with the typical Gemini native. Gemini makes you want to learn, to experiment, to report, whether that reporting be in the from of notes and eventually a story or article.
Gemini gets you going - sometimes to the point of starting arguments. You can argue with Gemini, and Gemini can make you tired, but, Aries, you are also intellectually stimulated ... and this is no small matter.

With Gemini, you can expect a plentiful supply of change, travel and variety. There is excitement generated and muck activity. If your forces are properly channeled, this combination could be a profitable, satisfying one.

Gemini with Aries:
Aries individuals affect that section of the Gemini chart related to hopes, wishes, and friendship. You are attracted to Aries. The attraction can grow into Love. Listen, Gemini: you might start out playing games with the Fire sign, Aries. But don't play with fire if you are not prepared to get burned. The relationship here can be favorable, if you are prepared for the consequences. Those consequences include a lasting relationship, physical attraction, a liking of hopes and desires.

Many of your friends are Aries native. Together, Aries and Gemini create adventure, travel opportunities. Your creative urges are accented. You love change, adventure, and travel. With Aries you could find the perfect companion or mate. But you both tend to tire each other. Realize, Gemini that Aries does like to lead the way. And you have some ideas of and you don't take your own -you tend to be experienced and you don't take kindly to regimentation.

You have a lot to learn from Aries. But in the process, you could be rubbed the wrong way. Expect a fascinating relationship but the road is not smooth. You will have to arrive at an understanding. Otherwise, much of your energy will be spent in arguing, in conflict.
Generally, Aries is favorable for you. Your interests are heightened. You read. You write. You express opinions. You travel. Very exciting if you first decide that Aries is going to be the boss, no matter what!

The Mars of Aries and your Mercury ruler blend to produce excitement, travel, a tendency to argue but a basic attraction, which makes it a pleasure to reconcile. Aries may force you to get down to business where ideas are concerned. If you don't mind being led. Eventually Aries could be instrumental in aiding you toward goals, toward fulfillment of desires.

(sources are from http://kamalkapoor.com/)

Most of the things happen is quite true according to what i've experienced, shud really read it earlier and access the situation next time!

I'm actually in a rush now but nvm, will update the blog very soon again =) take care everyone

6 days later

2007-11-24T12:30:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was my last paper, i felt so relieved now. Looking at my calender, i didnt realise that its already 6 days after the breakup. I could still remember that night like it just happened yesterday. This week is really disastrous, so much happened lately, or i could say everything happen during this time. I was facing 2 life challenges together, my breakup and my finals, this is my first time doing breakup during my finals, but thank God it made me stronger, I think that is wat God was trying to do, No pain really no Gain..

Mum called me during that afternoon, she asked me whether i'm okay and she asked me if i wanted go back home during this period. She understand that its hard to wait but i rejected her offer, because i think going home doesnt change anything. I told her tat i still have some unfinished business in KL, I'm not bringing it to anywhere until i get a confirmation, an answer, and the only thing i could do now is Wait. I promised her that i'll find something to do during this holidays, I wont rot at home.

Finals over, Wat else can we do? Have fun lah of coz and enjoy the holidays while i still can! Was invited to spent the nite with my coursemates. We had dinner first, then watch a movie, and go to the karaoke =)

We had dinner at T.G.I Fridays in 1U. This place was used to be our(Me and Ming Fen) favourite, its still mine of coz. As usual, I ordered a glass of Lemonade, every sip of it brings back the old memories. I still remember the very first time we had dinner here, it was a great one, the only problem was there was this black guy, he was a waiter there and keeps checking out my girlfriend, it really pisses me off and I cant do anything bout it. I wonder whether do we still have the chance to go here again, together..

A memorable glass of Lemonade that we both like

Me and my coursemates, there are actually more but unfortunately our table couldnt fit all

Oh yeah! I bought a book from MPH, For men only by Shaunti and Jeff Feldhahn.

For men only!

Shaunti is the author of the bestselling for women only, a book to understand men. As for men only, is a book to understand women. U know stuff like when a women said no but actually they dun mean it, and stuff like what is always in their minds, why do they like to mentioned about the past, and stuff like why are they alwiz so worried about every little thing, its all covered in this book. Time to think like a women and understand women! I know i'm not an understanding boyfriend, that is why i'm trying my best to change =) I too wish everything best for my gal, who would wanna hurt their love ones right? I hope this book helps =)

Well, I've been very long winded already, i think its time to stop.. To people who are still in Love, Love your Love Ones like U nv Love b4 alrite? Its really hard for 2 person to actually fell for each other. Treasure every moment together!

(I've added a new section of the songs that i'm listening to now)

Wait...

2007-11-22T14:44:00.000+08:00

Dominic stopped studying in my Uni due to some difficulties he is facing now. Really pity him.. His a nice guy with a warm heart but a terrible health.. Its been a while since i saw him, so me and Yee Leng decided to hang out today with Dom in MidValley.

So I Met up with Dominic and Yee Leng in MidValley 2day... but later joined in by Rachel, Chi Fu and his brother, Fu Hao... I tell u Chi Fu's brother is a professional in Long Distance Relationship(LDR). When i hear his story i was so dem amazed because he is still in a LDR with his galfren for few years already! Shocking! Why ppl can do it and I cant? Gotta get some advise from the pros...

After some talk, he opened my mind to alot of things. He tells me what is my current situation and suggest how shud i improve it.. N thx to Dominic's quote 'Think out of the Box', although its abit lame. I really felt so much better day by day. Everyone is so positive except me, what a shame really..

Thx to them that i've finally made up my mind, I decided that i shud be in my improvement phase now. I'm like a regular guy, waiting is not gonna be an easy thing. So shud start getting myself occupied now. Think out of the box! LoL! Dominic, u suck really...

Tomorrow is my last paper already, then my holidays gonna start next week till next year's January. I really have alot alot of time to do alot of stuff while waiting for Ming Fen to come back and have a proper talk. Still 3 weeks + to go.. Lets really only talk when u come back alrite? Take care and enjoy the last few weeks in Swiss.

To those who stayed with me all the time when i'm down, really thx..

Another great piece of advise

2007-11-20T23:32:00.000+08:00

My cousin, Pauline, offered me to stay at her place so i wouldnt have to stay in that lonely home today. Staying there really gives me alot of room to think of all the unnecessary and negative stuff especially if i'm alone at night, Me and Ming Fen actually spent alot of time together in that house, it still leaves memories.. But i believe time will heal, but of coz it will take some time.

My cousin, she talked to me, which really makes me feel so much better =) Really thx.... She said how can u say you guys are serious but actually such small matters could make u 2 ended up like this. I mean Me and Ming Fen did talk bout our futures, bout us getting married and having kids and living in the same house. I promised her that i would buy her a dog when she finished her studies and stayed with me in 1 house too...

My cousin, she simply answer me this, u guys were serious in the relationship thats why u both talked bout the future, i'm very glad.. but do understand that u 2 are still very young, things happen unexpectedly, both of u dun really ready to commit yet.. Juz a few arguements both of u already on the edge of breaking up, with Ming Fen loving me less than b4 and losing confidence in me, while I was getting more angry and angry each day of her treating me cold and I would call her so many times a day like crazy . Both of us are still very childish. I can finally see that both of us are really not so ready into a serious relationship like we used to promised each other.

This is my blog, I used it to express my own personal feelings, u can choose to read it or ignore, i wouldnt force u too either. Dont say i wrote it because of who who who. I wrote it because i wanted to okay? I have the freedom and rights to do so, furthermore i agree to the terms and condition offered by Blogger.com, if your not happy bout it, try to sue me or report to blogger.com. Dun talk like u know alot bout everyone, if your so good in a relationship you'll be in love now and taking effort in it with your special one not talk bout other ppl's stuff. If u ppl are really so free, try and find other things to talk okay? Its rude to judge from a third person view, because u ppl know nothing bout this relationship... I apologise if it did offended u... I'm juz being honest =)

But if Ming Fen is still reading this, hope to tell u that it is really harsh on making such selfish decision that day. Apologising is all i could do now, that is why i hope we could talk properly during December, face to face.. Both of us shud put this aside first and only talk on December. I know that u wouldnt wanna talk to me yet so I promised u that i would leave alone right now. I will still write on my blog, whether u wanna read it or not its really up to u... Well, I'll call u when its about time for u to come back Home, study hard at the moment and take care of yourself coz its really cold during winter.

Aftermath of a break-up

2007-11-20T07:54:00.001+08:00

Well, yesterday was having a hard time.. Cant really sleep and eat at all.. And i Had Ocular Visual Science(OVS) paper, i think i didnt really do well in it too, sigh..... =(

After mum and few calls from friend, i really felt so much better now. I had the whole day to think yesterday and i finally know what to do already. I simply must Move On, that is the only thing i could do right now...

Wait till Ming Fen come back on Dec 17, we'll talk bout it more during that time. By facing each other when u talk, u are more able to evaluate personal emotions and feelings toward each other. Simply means that we can understand each other better during face to face talking.

Lets juz say we have to put our relationship aside first, my finals is this week, and her finals shud be coming in 3 weeks. Well, time is running out, gotta study now =)

Thx to everyone who put effort to talk to me and reassure me, i cant tell u how grateful i am really..

First day of Alone

2007-11-19T10:46:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day of being alone.. I no longer have Hon around me anymore. No more hope on calls or sms from her anymore.. We are gonna stay away from each other a while now. Alot has happen lately. Both of us really need a time out actually.

I know this is hard, but I really have to do it, gather my rusted courage from deep inside me, and be back who I was used to be when i didnt have her. Things that happen really leaves scars.. I know i cant pretend i nv have her b4, but i will tell myself i no longer have her anymore. I have to understand that no1 even God never promise us that life is not difficult..

We promised to see each other when she arrived in KLIA on dec 17.. I hope we will be able to talk to each other during that time. If things go well again, maybe our cherry blossoms will bloom again. Who knows what God is planning right?

I hope through this break up, we are able to channel all our thoughts to what is important to us now. I also hope that we are able to gain more experience and be a better lover next time. If there is a slight chance of recovery, I'm sure that I wont give up.. I dun really wanna do this actually but this is the best for the moment.

With all my prayers to our Beloved God, I really hope for the best during dec. Thank God for everything so far...

Its over already

2007-11-19T01:46:00.000+08:00

The time is 1:44 a.m. right now.. I'm feeling really down.. Me and Hon finally broke up.. We started at 3rd of May and it ended at 19th of November.

Although the time we are together was very short, those time were the most precious moments we had together. Playing, Laughing, Irritating, Harassing, Cuddling, i cant really list out all the happy things that we do together.. I really enjoyed those moments.. Those were the most precious moments in my life..

But i guess good things dun last forever.. My dream of being forever with her was finally broken. What everyone said was true, There are no everlasting Love.. To those people that put such high hopes on our future, I would wanna apologise to u all.

We are not able to last for another 27 days where she was coming back for her internship. But i promised her, we will see each other during that time, i will still go to the airport and fetch her. I really hope things would be better that time.

I should not be saying this anymore, but I really still love her very much.. I really really still love u very much Honey.

Its Sunday already

2007-11-18T12:48:00.000+08:00

Woke up quite early again.. I really cant sleep well these few weeks.. In a result, i wrote a very long email and sent to Honey again..

Yea, if u guys remember, Hon did promised that we would talk today. Yes, its the Sunday i've been so looking forward to.

Hon, she was supposed to go to a school trip yesterday but she didnt, I really dunno wats wrg again.. When she woke up, she dropped me a msg in Skype. Thank God for giving me this chance when I decided to drop by my computer to check something, i saw her msg, I felt really relieved, i mean i didnt really expect us to be able to talk/msg on Saturday. I really miss her and i tell u the thought of needed to wait for a whole day without her news is enuff to drive me crazy. I can tell u, a day without her is no longer possible. I'm juz so addicted and obssessed.

So we talked, skyped a bit yesterday.. But it was not a very good conversation. I think both of us really cant talk like we used to talk anymore, i've been wondering will we ever go back to that stage anymore. She still doesnt feel like talking to me yet. Most of the time, we juz stoned and look at each other through our webcams. Its sweet, I still like to stared at that innocent face of her. But by the look of this, if the both of us doesnt wanna take more effort in this, I already know what will happen in the future.

Maybe i've been expecting too much from her.. Ming Fen, my Honey is like rest of the girl on this planet. Like most girls, they want all the attention they can have from their boyfriends. If my Honey is still in Malaysia, I would spent every morning and every night with her, the first person i wanted to see when i wake and the last person to see when i'm going to sleep. Thats what we do when she was still here, we would stick on to each other like Honeys, never really unglue each other b4. I miss those days..

When she went to Switzerland, we have distance and time gap that is spoiling us. Distance, we cant see each other like we used, cant really understand our body languages anymore. 7 hours of Time gap now, when its my time to go sleep, she juz finished class, the time we talked is getting less and less each day. Thats y eventhou i'm tired everyday, I'm still happy to talk to her in Skype or have a phone call with her later in the midnight. Is juz that she cant see how happy i m when i'm alwiz with that tired tone(sleeping tone). I also promised her that from next year onwards, I'll save money and go to Swiss at least once every year so i'm able to see her 3 times a year, 2 times is when she come back during school holidays. 3 compared to 2 makes a lot of difference.. I hope u understand Hon, with LDR, i cant be there for u like i used to, i cant be there everytime u want me to, but i'm alwiz trying my best u know?

Due to the time gap, more problems occur too.. When i'm out with my friends, she wanted to talk and i cant. And when i wanted to talk, shes still sleeping or in class.. 7 hours of time gap in a LDR is really not easy, but thats why i promised to stay at home more often now. This is the effort i made, I have to tell myself that I have a girlfriend in Swiss, and i'm willing to stay and talk more because she needed it and i needed it too even if she doesnt force me. This is the commitment i've made. I'm not regretting it too. I really pray this 4 years will be over, and trust me if we really have faith, this 4 years is nothing compared to the 20 years i've lived. My first time going to school was when i'm 5 years old. Even its 15 years ago, i still remember it. So the after 4 years from now, it will be over very soon provided we have faith in each other.

I'm really willing to do this and whether u believe or not, I'm still a healthy person, U nv force me to stay at home more.. Its what my instinct tells me to do, yea 'Instincts', if u really didnt notice it, after the quote u left, I finally understand this is my 'instincts' since the beginning. But i think its too late now, things might not go back to the way it was used to be. I juz pray that you can talk to me more now, or at least get better yourself. Juz 28 days to go..

Lets talk more when u wake up afterward, its our Sunday today =)

I really still Love u very much Honey and having u is the best treasure I could find in my Life.

From Love, With Love,
Vincent, Baby

Its Saturday, not Sunday yet

2007-11-17T10:30:00.000+08:00

Cant really sleep much, guess I'm still me, still think alot... Nothing much gonna happen today =) juz gonna stay at home and study abit for my next week finals, still have 3 papers u know?

So woke up and wrote a very very long email and sent it.. To who u asked? Of coz my beloved Honey lah! I used my very true feeling when i'm writing this Hon, a really pure heart of a Lover. Hope it can reach your heart like it was intended to..

Well, Hon might be abit occupied in today's school trip, there are some kind of exhibition in another town, but Sunday is approaching =) Its been sometime since we had a good conversation together. I hope you'll feel better today.

Well, no matter what i'll do, will still think of u =) Really luv u very very much my Love...

From Love, With Love,
Vincent, Baby

Another miserable day

2007-11-16T22:58:00.000+08:00

I had a terrible gastric strike yesterday nite... I guess my eating habbit wasnt very good lately, I've totally lost interest in eating already, for the time being i hope. Things wasnt going well when i talk to her this morning around 6.00 a.m. Like usual, we argue a bit she still doesnt feel like talking to me. All i wanted was some1 to reassure me, and got the feeling of people worried bout me. She said she still need more time, more time alone. So i promised her, by giving me a time limit, she promied me that we would definitely talk/skype on Sunday.

I continued my sleep, woke up around 12 p.m. in the afternoon. Then i realise that i couldnt sleep anymore, things juz cant stop coming into my mind. I decided to call rehui up and ask him to accompany me to Low Yat and check on gadgets and drop by KL sentral to get the train tickets. Drove to his house, didnt realise so many people was going too.. CD & Calvin followed my car... Thx guys for making my day, I felt so touched really. Too bad the tickets sold off =(

Reach Low Yat Plaza walk walk around and spent some time and bought a bluetooth handsfree... and to be honest, where ever i go, watever i see and watever i do i cant stop thinking bout Hon. I was suppose to relax my mind and concentrate what i'm suppose to do until Sunday. Keep telling myself need to give her time to relax her mind too. Everything will be better on Sunday and everything will be perfect on the day she return to malaysia(dec 17). It was really a bit too hard for me Hon... Cant stop feeling miserable u know?

But i finally decided to call her later at night to inform her bout the tickets.. I mean i promised to experience this Christmas with her in Singapore. Due to my nature of dragging things, the tickets are sold out... Sigh........ Feel so much beta and really happy that u are willingly to talk to me more like i expected.

I apologising for calling, i know i promised u, but i really feel like telling u bout the tickets.. Well, rest well now my Honey, and enjoy tomorrow's school's trip.. Really wont bother u anymore tomorrow. Luv U very much and willingly to luv u till the day i stop breathing.

From Love, With Love,
Vincent, baby

Another Unnecessary Arguement

2007-11-15T13:45:00.000+08:00

I juz called Hon half an hour ago to wake her up for class (Malaysia and Switzerland has a 7 hours different time gap), but things didnt turn out very good again.. She kinda got piss at me for saying the wrg thing. I tried to explain myself but i think she didnt get it and she is piss and dowan to listen me. In the end, the phone call ended with both of us still frustrated. I'm not able to explain myself coz she doesnt wanna listen. I really dont meant it Hon, perhaps i really think too much lately, I really some need time to change like u too...

Most ppl called home their santuary, but to me staying at home for a few weeks already has been driving me crazy, staying at this miserable home alone has gimme nothing but lots of room to think of crazy and useless stuff. Too much has happen in life lately.

The only reason i stayed at home now is because i needed a place to sleep in, a shelter n of coz having my computer and my phone too. Me and Hon used to talk alot on the phone, used to skype on that computer alot too. But things are so different now, Hon no longer wanna sms me and call my phone that much already and she doesnt wanna skype with me either. All she can say is i dowan to talk to u anymore or i dun feel like talking. With these 2 sentences, i feel like i've been cast to death, lifeless, sleeping on that cold bed everyday is the worst feelings i ever felt in my life. Right now i can only pray for the better. For a better tomorrow..

Hon, you've been really grumpy/upset/bad mood.. Your really not like yourself anymore u know? All i can say now is that i really feel really bad for u, thats y i'm alwiz trying my best to talk 2 u now, reassure u and to cheer u up but u are so stubborn, when u say u dowan to talk means u dowan to talk and all i can do is stop talking and endure it.. Can u really see that i'm trying my best here to make u happy? Can u really see that i'm trying my best to be considerate? Can u really see that i'm doing this for 'Us', the both of us. I am not doing this for myself only u know? Do u think that stop talking can really help the 2 of us to get better? I really hope u'll put your anger aside 1st and use your heart to feel how i feel, how we feel, feel what do we need rite now.

Its really just 31 days to go and then when u come back we can hug each other to sleep. U said this yesterday 'Let's do this together, we still have hope' and cant tell u how happy and grateful i felt.. I wont give up this relationship, and i certainly hope u feel the same way.. We still love each other, and believe in each other... And in the end, i believe we will be stronger than b4 =) I really really luv u, really really need u too, and to me our love is really the most important thing in my life now..

From Love, With Love,
Vincent, Baby

November, Emo Month

2007-11-14T18:33:00.000+08:00

U know what i think about Long Distance Relationship(LDR)?

1. Must appreaciate each other.

2. When there is a will, there is a way.

3. Have faith and trust each other fully.

4. Remind yourself that u 2 were meant to be together.

5. Think of your love ones when u think u r doing something wrong.

6. If you believe in the future, you'll be able to overcome any obstacle.

7. Communication is the only key to understand each other during this time.

8. Keeping intimacy all the time, remind each other of the sweet moments we used to have.

Me and Hon juz cant get back to the way we used to be. Both of us are really having a very difficult time now. Both of us are too sensitive and emotional and easily get angry and upset over small things. We cant put down what has happened n I tried my best to understand her, but i think i didnt do well. I really wish god could tell me what to do now...

No matter how hard i tried to talk things out with Hon, things juz keep going wrong. No matter how hard i try to comfort her, she juz cant really feel it fully right now. No matter how hard i try and apologise, she juz cant get the whole picture of it.

Its another 32 days to go till we can see each other again. Its another 32 days till we can love each other like we nv love b4. Its another 32 days till we can sleep next to each other holding each other so tight like we nv hug b4. (ITS JUST 32 DAYS TO GO!)

Honey, i just want u to know that i really really luv u and i dun mind what is the past. All i want is a future with u right now, a bright future. Who has never made mistakes in life b4 right? Its really the time to forgive and forget now..

Its all about us now, only us. No1 else can help us Hon. I didnt meant to push u like tat, its not even my intention. I juz hope time can replenish everything and make u feel better. I really treasure this relationship and i know that i cant lose u. So no matter what, i'll try my best to make u feel happier.

Really wanted a chance for the both of us... and i really really luv u my Honey.. i really really need u too..

From Love, With Love
Vincent, Baby

Again....

2007-11-14T12:33:00.000+08:00

I really got no idea what i've done wrong again, with just a short text msg from her saying she wanna think about what i said juz now so we cant talk today and we'll talk tomorrow...

My mood is really bad, how can i wait for 9 hours like this? I really cant wait anymore, this is soo hard and tiring and bcoz of this i cant concentrate doing anything but keep worrying...

Sigh, Hon is doing this again eventhou she promised me not to...

Shes not picking my calls again now...

1 month and 5 days to go

2007-11-11T15:50:00.000+08:00

Hon finally called me...

I really cant stop crying when i got her call, i was soooo worried the whole time cant eat n cant sleep. We talked alot on the phone yesterday night... She finally explained to me what had actually happen...

To her she thinks that i took her for granted, which i nv do that at all. I might sound not very appreciating and not really good at using words, I hope she'll understand tat i would do everything for her n I'm really still waiting for u to come 'home'

To her she also thinks that i dun care of her anymore when shes sick and busy. I really do Hon.. its juz that u cant see my facial emotions, i'm really worried to death.. So many things juz came into my mind, I wish I really could go there rite now n hug soo tight and feel your body warmth during this cold winter weather.

I really pity her sometimes, having a boyfren like me with a really bad temper and sarcasm mouth. When i'm overly worried my anger burst without warning.. I promised to become a better person for You to love but i fail to do so. All i can hope now is that u would gimme another chance to mend the wounds and pains i left behind, i promise to learn from experience and become a better lover for us and our future.

I really hope we talk more like we used to, we love each other like we used to, we comfort each other like we used to, we wait for each other like we used to, we manja each other like we used to....

I know i need you very much and I know i wouldnt let u go until the very day i stop breathing, I hope i can hear u say u love me very much too today... Bcoz i really meant it when i say i love u very much u know? Still 1 month and 5 days to go, really cant wait till the day when i have to go to the airport to fetch u=) To me, nothing is more precious compared to our love....

From Love, With Love
Vincent, Baby

Farewell My Dear Friend

2007-11-10T13:26:00.000+08:00

Its been a long long time since i posted in my blog. I kinda 4get i actually owns 1, kinda neglect it for a while. I made a draft bout my Melacca rave party but haven upload the photos into it, will post it anytime this week.

Woke up in the morning waiting for Hon to reply my calls, actually cant sleep at all, I cant stop looking at my clock wondering why is she still not calling me.. I'm getting really worried and crazy now, i've called her many times no1 answer it n still waiting now... I'm soooo sad now its like i cant even gather enuff strength to breath anymore, i Need her So Much!

Sign in to my Hotmail and read sum mails until i came across 1 named quit from Twintech.. Its from Pauvine! Here is the msg she sent us:

To all lovely guys

It wouldn't be suprised to all of you, expected,right? There are a lot of reasons which i can't to continue again. I'll appreciate the times we spend to together(eating,shopping,fighting............)which cannot buy with money, and knowledge which i gained from Twintech.

Edmund - undestanding,helpful,hardworking(in studies only) and cute (because fat-fat ma,a bit handsome only)

Pei Rou - leadership espirit, helpful and sweet girl (always busy with appointment but this sem seems less so can spend some times with us)

Hie Ching - lovely siau cha boo (always take short cut but sometimes cannot short cut ooh)

Eng Lian - sleepy and busy boy (need to spend sometimes in studies,be serious and sensible, you can, right?)

Kai Yun - emotion girl (appreciate what you are today, don't blame this and that.Poor and rich just a "$" sign only,study hard and work hard,you surely can success. I'll keep the "secret" between you and me)

Yan Ching - timid and sweet girl(be brave so that nobody will bully you,talk more and nobody will laugh at you)

Dominic - love your body and take care(you'll be the best fighter and i'll pray for you)

Vincent - busy and "man" boy (try your best in Twintech even though you don't like.You are smart in studies actually,don't disapointed your parent,show them actually you can).

Ai Yii - cute, lovely crazy girl(it's happy to talk to you, always made us laugh like "orang gila, don't mind to be the crown)

Choon Ming - hardworking and 'cool' boy(is the parent's "good boy",almost catch up with the groups,keep it up)

I am not sure what actually happen but now i'm really speechless, another dear friend of us has quit the course.... Being the oldest 1 in the class and the one of the most talketive 1, she never fail to entertain us =) and alwiz represent our class to voice out our opinions. No matter what is it, we will alwiz remember we once had a very nice friend.

A Long Long Trip Full of Problems

2007-10-21T15:09:00.000+08:00

I've decided to do a double post today bcoz i have some much to talk about in Juz 1 day!

The connection in Labuan was soooo badly i cant hardly describe it! I wanted to skype or MSN with honey but i was unable to but i still can connect to the internet, called to Streamyx Hotline almost everyday they say they were undergoing sum shit upgrades, call them until the whole company also recognize my voice i guess...

As for not updating my blog, I was quite busy during the Raya, accompany Mum to sum Raya open houses.. All they serve was very colourful steam cakes, rendang curry, and sweet drinks(soft drinks).

The very frightening colourful Raya steamcakes, to me it taste ooooookay only

Get really Sick of all those curry and oily stuff! I was wondering why cant they serve mineral water instead of all sweet things! Damn, i tell u water really taste good sometimes! AND i even get a minor stomachache during the festive season, so no more curry for a long long time! All the effort going to gym was actually waste during this festive season, need to double up the workout time now....

Met up with seng a few times in Labuan, i can say he grow quite a bit =) Not in height but in mentality.. His still the funny guy we love to hang out with and his even got himself a galfren now, Way to Go Seng!

As promised, these are some of Fuji's best shots=) His really cute, i cant stop laughing having a so adorable yet intelligent yet obedient yet cute dog!

Orh! I didnt know its my birthday 2day!

Vincent said i look like a teddy in this picture!

Do I look good with the scarf?

I'm a small dog with a big dream!

I'm ready for bed...

Me and my Favourite bowl

Balik Kampung for Raya

2007-10-11T10:56:00.000+08:00

Due to some excuses and lazyness, my blog has been dead for some time, nothing interesting actually happen in my life recently...

If you guys didnt notice, i'm actually back in Labuan for this Raya, back to this small boring island with no good food, no hot chicks, no nightlife , but..... They have CHEAP alcohols and cigarette and chocolates, its like almost half price cheaper! Well, all the unhealthy stuff cant get any cheaper than that right? Too bad i dont smoke and drinking here without my 'buthers' makes it more boring here u know?

But being back home has a different feeling, able to see my parents and siblings that i dont see often, and my dog(fuji) too, dont i really miss him, he still such a notti fella =) Will update the next blog with some pictures of Fuji =)

Some Nite at Chilies!

2007-10-02T22:21:00.000+08:00

Went to chillies last week with some friends, i soooo miss the burger and the buffalo wings there, the reason is simple, it taste really gooooood!

Jocelyn is alwiz so excited when there is food =)

Jocelyn and Meiting 2 really sweet gal

Me and Meiting and her 'I love Party' T-shirt, Cute!

Very ego Rehui and Meiting

Every single one of Us!

Me and Hon both love the burgers in Chillies and Fridays, since her departure, I never walk in to any of these restaurant until last week, so miss the feeling! so miss her! so need her! so love her! and so looking forward for her to come back!

One more thing guys, I've finally successfully being forced to join the Califonia Fitness Gym in Sunway Pyramid =( Finally time to lose some weight and time to pump some irons! Anyone wanna work out 2gether can gimme a call yea? As they say the more the merrier!

I guess its time to say bye bye to unhealthy life, becoz here comes healthy life =)

Mooncake Festival

2007-09-25T22:13:00.000+08:00

Celebrated one of the Chinese most Loved festival which is the moon cake festival last week! Moon cake really taste soooo good...

The red paper lanterns

A picture of the my class celebrating Mooncake festival 2gether

Another picture of us holding lanterns

If u look carefully, some of us are using 'forks' as sticks for our laterns =)

Homemade Chicken Rice

2007-09-22T03:42:00.001+08:00

Its been a long time since i cook, and had the urge to do it now. So i went to the nearest supermarket(Carrefour) and get some ingredients.

I bought:

1. Chicken
2. Chillies
3. Garlic
4. Ginger
5. Cucumber
6. Spring Onions

By telling wat ingredients i've bought, it shud be very clear that I'll be cooking Chicken Rice =)

(After some hardwork and the amount of time to experiment and look at wat I've made!)

Homemade Chicken Rice

Not to be thicked-skin, but it actually taste quite good on my 1st time making it!

Some nite at Mardigras!

2007-09-17T11:39:00.000+08:00

Went to this new club in 1U called Mardigras last Saturday with some 'Buther' (means brother in very chinese slang). To my surprise it was really Happening!

A very nice place to wash your hands outside the club...

I luv da Disco balls!

The usual bar table...

Lots of cup....

A very cool Carlsberg bottle..

Look at all the Carlsberg bottle, they even have light effect! Its dem cool

Green changing to Blue!

All Blue now! Cool right?

Deddy and a very sweet gal Kylie.

The most special thing they have is this 'water stage' with chicks dancing till they are really wet!

Bryan and Jocelyn

The Guys

The whole day was quite good but things happen when we all decided to go back to SJ around 3:10, 2 of our frens were involved in a fight with some crazy driver on the road.. They had to go to SJMC and do sum x-rays, bleed much, but arh! thank god, it was not really that serious! We'll b back partying again very soon =)

House Party

2007-09-11T04:42:00.000+08:00

Went to Jocelyn's house warming in ss18... had a great nite with my frens! Nv spend so much time 2gether nowadays as each of us are alwiz we r saying 'bz' with our own stuff.. Thru events like this might bring us all 2gether and talk and have fun.

Lastly, Thx for being such a nice host Jocelyn =)

Aint the gals really cute when they are trying to act cute?

The boys that think they are very cool!

The One Big Family!

And the stuff we drink, how can a house warming lack of alcohols rite?

My Merdeka Celebration

2007-09-06T01:58:00.000+08:00

Went to Ruums for Merdeka Celebration.. Was quite an interesting nite =) bbbbut too many 'Lalas'

Smoke, Balloons and crowd is all i can see

Woo! Countdown ended, balloons freefalling..

Another random picture =)

Lots and Lots of Ppl Partyyying!

Calvin and Darren with Bryan

The Beauties and the Beasts...

Lost Feelings

2007-08-28T18:01:00.000+08:00

I'm back in Lbn now.. See sum old frens and hang out with them too, everyone has been very good in their overseas..

As for me, I figure out that i've lost sum very important things with me and trying my very hard to get back those lost feelings b4 its too late.. Just bear with me summore, i'll decide wat to do...

Break is Here!

2007-08-24T00:23:00.001+08:00

Well, Breaks' starting at this Friday, but there are 3 assignments to summit!! Been quite bz this whole week because i'm having 2 small mini test. no time 2 blog, no time to lepak! I'm going back to Labuan this saturday, the mini city of Sins, full of alcohols n cigarette n cheap too(duty-free)! Get to see Fuji again =) tats the best thing of going back.

I didn't go to the Akon's Concert last Sunday, really feel bad for winning the tickets but not going.. Feel real bad for lieing and rejecting juz like nothing happen, juz hope everything will be all fine again...

All i can say is sorry to those who cant get their hands on the tickets!

Got my Akon Smack That tickets!

2007-08-19T05:31:00.001+08:00

Akon Smack That Party tickets is in my hands now! Akonnnnn here i Comeeeee!

Belated Birthday to Yee Leng n William

2007-08-14T17:59:00.000+08:00

Last Friday, I have 2 frens that have the same birthday, Yee Leng & William. So most of us went to Yee Leng house for barbeque last Friday, it was quite a party, lots of older guest too =) Seems like everyone is enjoying...

Me and a Sohai fren Re Hui who is alwiz reluctant to take pictures.

CD & Yee Leng, the 2 lovely brother n sister... Actually they are not! They r juz frens..

Jocelyn, the only gal that only enjoy cooking on the smoking pit =)

Yee Leng n her birthday cakes =)

The party wasn't the same as Hon was no longer here, something is juz missing... I juz wanna say i really miss ya Hon... Plz juz come back faster, coz i'm still waiting here alone..

Unfortunately for William, He went back to Indonesia for a funeral(Dun ask whose!) He shud be coming back around middle of August.. Happy Belated Birthday yea William =)

Swan Yen's Birthday

2007-08-08T23:44:00.000+08:00

Went to Talipon Restaurant(电话饭店) in Kelana Jaya today to celebrate Swan Yen's birthday, its a combination of Bbq n steamboat buffet style restaurant, time to eat all you can!

The cake we bought for Swan Yen with 3 Strawberries as sweet as her =)

Shes wishing, sheeesh..........

Edmund is passing the present we bought for Swan Yen.....

The 'bear couple' paper bag tat we use to put the presents inside..

Swan Yen will be leaving Malaysia somewhere in September, shes been a very caring & warm classmate, but distance shouldn't be a problem as we can alwiz use MSN or Skype to keep in touch.... We'll alwiz miss her n hope that She'll be fine during this 3 years in UK alright? Take care & Farewell my Dear Friend.......

Happy yet Sad

2007-08-06T15:58:00.000+08:00

Well, i was driving in KL this afternoon to the Swiss International Airline office to change Hon's air ticket back to Msia on the 16th of december somewer near Jalan Sultan Ismail. The traffic was bad during lunch hour, i was listening to my favourite radio station Hitz.fm as usual, when i heard J Lo saying its time to call in to get 2 tickets to an Akon opening party in CyberJaya.

I remember trying to call in during the Muse n Good Charlotte concert but didn't have the luck tat time. Anyway I picked up my mobile n dialed the number 03... 9543... 3311. Tuut tuut, it was thru!! I mumble to myself n still thinking i would not be lucky enuff to win these tickets =( As the phone continues to tuut.. for about 30 secs... Someone picked up!

J Lo: Hey Hi... wats your name?
Me: Erm... i'm Vincent....
J Lo: So Vincent yea? Are u ready?
Me: Erm... I guess so...
J Lo: Alright then...
J Lo: This is hitz.fm with J Lo!
J Lo: Okay Vincent, u want the tickets to Akon's party right?
Me: Yea....
J Lo: Alright, I'll play u a short clip n U'll have to tell me what song is it, Ok?

(The clip was played! It last only for like 2 sec and it sounds so familiar! It was Don't Matter the ringtone i am using now!)

Me: Its Akon Don't Matter!
J Lo: Are u sure?!
Me: Very sure, its Akon Don't Matter!
J Lo: Congratulations! You've walked away with 2 tickets to the Akon Opening party which is happening in CyberJaya this 19th of August..
Me: (I paused for a few seconds) This was my first time getting free tickets from Hitz.fm! I love you guys! =)

This is the Smack That Party that i have won from Hitz.fm=)

My mood was soooo goood.... Very lucky to get the tickets =) So happy too!! But... suddenly i remember that Hon was no longer here, shes in Switzerland right now =(

This is why i'm happy yet sad... I really miss ya hon, Luv ya all the time too n still waiting for u to come back.....

God, juz hope You'll answer me this Once..

2007-07-26T21:20:00.001+08:00

Days are getting more fucked up.... I msned Hon yesterday, we tried to do video and voice chat, it was block by the hostel system.... and u know wat, she told me that the hostel connection dun allow them to do that..... This is real bad, to think of it, she went to swiss for 4 years, there are only 1 semester break at the end of every 6 months n this is the only time we could meet. The most we could meet is only twice a year, this is already so not enuff and we can't do any video or voice chat now?!?! How on earth m i really gonna survive this 4 years like this?

This is like the only cheapest n convenient way to communicate for students like us, I think these schools should enable this kind of service for international students as the call charges is really devastaing. I juz dun understand why things have to turn out this way, who can I blame? Who can I complaint it to? I know i can't ask help from God, i know i didn't really do anything much for Him before, but i juz need some simple guidance from him....

Life is getting tougher each day, bad things juz keep coming this way....
1. i'm still in my fucked up course which i dun like since i was in the first year,
2. my Hon left for switzerland for studies and i'm feeling all alone now,
3. i can't afford to go to europe to visit her,
4. i have a lots n lots of problems with my family lately making me more n more rebellious
5. i dun really haven any business or assets, which means i still have to rely on my parents,
6. i might get depression n die b4 this 4 years really end,
7. Devil within me is really overtaking me, turn me to a very cold blooded creature capable of doing harmful things...

There r juz too many things keep running in my mind... I really need guidance from 'You', plz answer me n tell me wat to do plz.....

Meaning in Life

2007-07-22T20:34:00.000+08:00

Received a call from Hon on 3:05 p.m., she finally reach Bluche(Located five minutes away by car from the heart of Crans-Montana). Les Roches is a school of hotel management and has a very very big campus in some 'ulu' place somewhere in switzerland.

If your interested, check this link for more information.
http://www.lesroches.edu/hotel-school/

At least i could say i'm happy that she arrived there safe, life is going 2 be quite hard for us beginning now where she would spend another 4 years there and i will have to wait for her to come back n yet i'm still stuck here with this fucking lame bullshit course which i'm not even intested! This is Life, continue to live and earn money to die, at least i have a new meaning in Life now... to wait for her 2 finish her course or u could say wait for her to return...

Farewell My Honey =(

2007-07-22T03:54:00.000+08:00

Today is July 21, 2007. I've decided to start my new blog today and constantly update it throughout the year, I think that blogging enables my Honey to know what i'm up to in Malaysia so she would not worry bout me too much. Btw, she board the plane to Switzerland on 11:15 p.m. N i'm still waiting for her sms... Alwiz Love ya.
-Baby-