Its really been a while since my last post, my blog is dying of inactivity... Dont really 'feel like it' to write or update anything until recently. Still feeling a bit shattered.
'Life was not treating me very good lately'..
Despite of all that that happen to me, it ended up in such a terrible end, i couldnt have figure out or had no idea that it could turn out this way. I'm glad its over. Old things die and new things will be born, thats what the whole world been saying or this phase should sound very familiar 旧的不去, 新的不来...
Its finally more than a month that we didnt talk to each other, getting on with each of our lives, I'm still missing her and been wondering how is she doing lately. I bet she is busy with her work and socializing with her colleague, they all been treating her really good. No words could describe how badly i wanted to know how is she doing really right now, very simple stuff like how is she feeling right now, has she eaten yet, she had enough sleep for tomorrow's work. Juz simple things like that still bothering me.
I think i'm really stupid, wondered why still care so much when someone doesnt want me to care for them anymore.
I remember during the time after we broke up, i bought so many books to read on so i could 'try to learn' to become a better person, and most importantly a better lover for her. In whatever situation, 'i try think in her shoes', and to be honest, i think i'm being very generous. I've been living for more than 21 years now, never had i had such hard times b4, never experience such pain before...
I'm not sure she realize this or not, she always thinks what she did was right. I was the one who broke it up, but i was also the one who tries to get her back and i wondered she'll recall what kind of attitude she treated me with. I really hope she stop being so childish and blames everything on me.Our relationship was juz merely six month, it really meant alot to me, i'm so glad that she once, willing to spent her life with me. I'm also grateful that she taught me so much, thanks for teaching me to be a gentleman, thanks for teaching me to 爱就爱的疯狂...
Even I still miss her, i'm so glad it finally ended, i'm so tired.... I'll wish her well in whatever she does, 我也什么都不想管了, if blaming me really made her happier, ignoring me really made her happier, and treating me like this really made her happier, good then, this is the last 'happy' thing i could give her...
What hurts the most is to be hurt by someone you love so much and being blame for everything...
Love hurts....
